Wednesday, November 28

Abra Kadabra Kabooomm

Heyyy..
I havent been able to post anything these days as my mind was extremely busy with some fucking stuff that I dont even want to think about it. I am just glad that we could find compromise. Anyway.

You know I am veggie, so I just wanted to cook something for my mom when she went out.. Actually I dont like kitchen stuff too much but sometimes it is a good thing to be useful...





And of course I cooked after all :)

Song des Tages



Wenn ich dich nicht seh bricht mein herz in zwei 
wenn du nicht mit mir lebst will ich nicht mehr sein
wenn du mich nicht küsst wird meine Seele klein 
wenn du mich nicht nicht liebst will ich nicht mehr bei dir sein .

ich bin mit dir zusammen , doch fuehle mich hintergangen 
warum warst du nicht bei mir wo ich dich brauchte mein leben mich missbrauchte
drum steh ich hier alleine mit den problemen die mich schon lieben .
doch ohne dich kann ich nicht leben warum musst du mich so quälen 
ich hoff du änderst das leben und willst mich nur noch nehmen 
du weisst ich brauch dich in mein leben 
halt mich fest lass mich nicht gehen 
ich will dich nicht verlassen ich werds nicht schaffen dich zu hassen .. 
du bist mein ein und alles baby vergess nicht ich liebe dich


Wenn ich dich nicht seh bricht mein herz in zwei 
wenn du nicht mit mir lebst will ich nicht mehr sein
wenn du mich nicht küsst wird meine seele klein 
wenn du mich nicht nicht liebst will ich nicht mehr bei dir sein .

Wenn ich dich nicht seh bricht mein herz in zwei 
wenn du nicht mit mir lebst will ich nicht mehr sein
wenn du mich nicht küsst eine seele klein 
wenn du mich nicht nicht liebst will ich nicht mehr bei dir sein .

Ein Leben ohne dich wär nicht zu ertragen 
Und so schneller deine liebe ist mit kein geld der welt zu bezahlen 
mein Herz würde verbluten meine seele erfrieren 
Es reicht mir schon ein lächeln von dir öffnest du deine arme öffnet sich dein herz 
schließt du mich hinein fühl ich mich für immer mit dir vereint 
nie mehr alleine sein nie wieder einsam 
durch deine liebe fühl ich mich dem himmel nah 

Wenn ich dich nicht seh bricht mein herz in zwei 
wenn du nicht mit mir lebst will ich nicht mehr sein
wenn du mich nicht küsst wird meine seele klein 
wenn du mich nicht nicht liebst will ich nicht mehr bei dir sein .

Wenn ich dich nicht seh bricht mein herz in zwei 
wenn du nicht mit mir lebst will ich nicht mehr sein
wenn du mich nicht küsst wird meine seele klein 
wenn du mich nicht nicht liebst will ich nicht mehr bei dir sein .

meine seele schreit vor schmerz diese qual zerereist mein herz
ich tu doch alles für dich bitte verlass mich nicht 
ich weiss du liebst mich wieso ist es so schwer für dich 
jedem zu zeigen wie sehr du mich noch liebst 


Wenn ich dich nicht seh bricht mein herz in zwei 
wenn du nicht mit mir lebst will ich nicht mehr sein
wenn du mich nicht küsst wird meine seele klein 
wenn du mich nicht nicht liebst will ich nicht mehr bei dir sein .

Wenn ich dich nicht seh bricht mein herz in zwei 
wenn du nicht mit mir lebst will ich nicht mehr sein
wenn du mich nicht küsst wid meine seele klein 
wenn du mich nicht nicht liebst will ich nicht mehr bei dir sein .

Wenn ich dich nicht seh bricht mein herz in zwei 
wenn du nicht mit mir lebst will ich nicht mehr sein
wenn du mich nicht küsst wird meine seele klein 
wenn du mich nicht nicht liebst will ich nicht mehr bei dir sein .

Saturday, November 24

Teachers Day

Year 2008, 24 November

I really remember what I was doing on that day, I was trying to study at dorm alone until I heard the announcement: They were calling my name by telling I have a cargo.

I got flowers, a box of chocolate, and many stuff with 10 paged letter.. Yeah from my ex boyfriend.. Just an important sentence among 10 pages: " I believe that you will be a good life teacher. "

Year 2012, 24 November

Boredom.. Feeling Depressed and blablabla..

Friday, November 23

Here Without You

Hello fellas,
Well I would like to tell that I am on my mood to set fire around LOL.
Kaju made my day somehow and I am glad that her problem was only her period..
Maybe everything will be alright as she is young and there is long way to go to find her happiness, just she needs to have a bit of faith. I believe she already knows that.

When it comes to the people who are not in my life although they were supposed to,
I am not that pissed off as I noticed that I can complete my missing parts somehow.
I am not sad either, dont know, sometimes I just feel lucky that life takes some people away to bring me some more people to get on well with each other.

I believe that everything has a reason but we might not recognize the reason for years.
Doesnt matter.

I want to mention some compliments that I got today xD 

Insane
Crazy
Weird
Lovely
Cute
Nice
Adorable
Bitch
Funny
Shit carriage
Sweet


Cashew Should Breathe!!

I had a very weird dream early in the morning.. It was peaceful but something was still broken. I really lack of something I guess but I really dont know what is it or what it is supposed to be. I cant replace the things with the other ones because nothing could please me.. 
Well I know I am such a rebel and evil. Because I am not thankful even for the little things [ who knows maybe I am just wishing for more than usual instead of being glad with what I am given ] Arent we humans always greedy?

Then I just thought I forgot something, dont know I was just dizzy last night and tired so, yeah something important: Reading Cashew's blog. 
To my surprise it was English.. But first I just checked the time to get when she typed it all..  Last night ...

English or Finnish doesnt matter, I admit that I read and try to undestand the feelings of her somehow. 

Because 
She is my best friend. Sometimes telling it verbally doesnt work as long as I cant meet her in person soon and I know that manners are more important than the words. But I feel it, she is very kind and she has great capacity to tolerate me and my all stuff.

Hehe I am boring,
 I know it and I am talking too much as well but she needs to know that I dont talk too much if I dont care about that person. It is very hard to end up with new interesting topic everyday.. Most of the time I just hesitate or let it go. But this time I feel as if that person thinks I ignore him/her.
Anyway.

I cant stand seeing people sad especially the ones whom I care too much. We cant be glad all the time I know it too but I am ready to do my best to put smile on people's face.

Sometimes making jokes dont work on her  although she acts like she is smiling, I know it as life doesnt only consist of laughter  but it is the only way to tear one's self away from the lap of sorrow for a while. 
Changing the topic works.

If it is not working anymore then it is better to have an accompany for your tears.
It feels like being alone is the best way to handle with but your mind is already trying to survive from being suffocated by all the thoughts you have, knowing that you keep talking to yourself to blow your mind off.
That is what you want? I dont think so.

I am here all the time.
Just she can smash the door and step in anytime.
She accompanies me all the time whenever I need and why cannot I accompany her when she feels that she needs someone to listen to her?
She is being unfair. Because she doesnt let me work my friendship. Even if she might not like talking, it is also good to keep silence but all together so that she feels I am by her side.

It is better than her telling me lies about her mood or keeping herself isolated.
I know what sentence lies behind the statement "I am fine".
 I dont want to nag her mind either.

I want her to know that 
She is
 very strong
very smart
very brave
determined
and
kind hearted.

Girl just believe in yourself.
Because you have the power to beat everything down.




I picked this song for her.
Cashew should 
breathe!

Thursday, November 22

Tragos Comos


Dont seek such a thing named logic in people when they are inlove as love is blind xD
That tragic love story is good enough to make audience burst into tears and it is so beautiful that just makes me wanna cry LOL.

Wednesday, November 21

Lady, You Are Snoring


This commercial reminds me one of my friend..LOL some people are such a loser..

Tuesday, November 20

Das Auto !


Actually I dont like most of the auto commercials whenever they relate the commercials with transformers. Because I really dont like transformers at all. But I liked this one.. By the way wihin commercial I think I saw Edward Cullen was driving the car for a while :D I would really be surprised if Robert Pattinson stared in this commercial too :D

Maybe Coca Cola and Pepsi have the best commercials in Turkey.



Lordina Of The Rings


Personally I dont like wearing rings unless I have to for special occasions. Yesterday I found my silver ring which has been lost for a long time (maybe I havent seen it for 2 years or more) and it made me glad because I believe that this ring brings me good luck. Actually it doesnt have a certain shape but it looks like crown.
The black parts are made of jet, "Oltu Taşı" in Turkish. The city where I studied was famous for jet..

Maybe everyone has something precious that they think it brings good luck no matter it is ridiculous to believe in objects but as being humans we like to console ourself somehow.

Well such a busy and  tiring day is waiting for me as I need to study a bit and I will go jogging in the evening maybe a bit shopping too and and and an interview .. 
Anyway wishing the ring to bring me a piece of good luck today ^^ so that I dont yell and blame with finding it in vain.. LOL. 

Unwanted

" Every single day, things get in my way, someone have to pay for the little things. "

I dont need anyone's reluctant kindness as long as it is not sincere.

That is not drama nor being moody. So If I cry or laugh, for sure it has a reason.



The more we experience sorrow the less we try to hurt, 

The more we suffer the more we care.
I hate people who feel pity for me and I fear of the day when you will think I have a pathetic story.


While life is such an ill-omened and people are so mess, you call me cold, guilty and fucking moody?
Please think twice then.

Monday, November 19

Cupid


[When poetry hits me I am inspired like that]

I hope my presence hadst thee bored not my wyf,
The heavenly blessing blossoms of Eden.
Then Venus came and called
The noisy master of arrows for a piece of bliss,
That was the element of lyf,
But little winged boy did brought yet nought.
It ain't hurt my heart and it would never
If thy sweet pearls were not matter of Noah's enemy.
Those enemies were made of the brightest shattered of sharp glass.
They kill me hither whenever I gaze at with bare eyes.
Thy warm breath is the strongest storm
Even it tears the trees apart on earth
And bothers my little boat that is sailing to thy undiscovered pink lands.
Many missionaries art hit by the noisy boy
Yet wherefore art thou not?
Art thy heart baked with grey substance?
I faint to follow thy garment's trace
As if Phaeton is struggling to take away the light of the day.
Nature is aware it is the sweetest deadly sin
Those sinners were cursed in your grace one by one
For thou makest them fall deep sleep like Sirens
And heartless oceans swallowed them
So there is only one body survived
I shall know not if thou want me thy loyal servant.

Friday, November 16

Arranged Marriage?

Ohh I really feel relieved after a nice shower. It was an another weird day because I felt bored until the evening. My uncle and his wife visited and the real family stories began to be poured out one by one.. Especially arranged marriage stories were the most ridiculous. Maybe I can tell one of them which I found very stupid..

There is a tall handsome guy around his 20s and he lives in city centre. But whenever his parents let him go countryside to get some stuff for them he becomes happier because there lives a beautiful young lady on the way of him. He watches that beauty whenever he passes and tries to flirt with the girl but girl treats him a bit cold because she thinks he is a spoilt son of a rich family.
In summer this guy goes countryside again and by coincidence girl is in the garden trying to trim the roses.. He thinks for a while and decides to help her.. The girl falls for his shining smile and feels a bit shy too.. He directly proposes her to marry and she just says him that she will convince her parents when he sends his parents.. So he promises her to send his parents the next day as soon as possible.



The next day she waits patiently but nobody knocks the door.. She waits the other day but again there is no one at the door.. So she watches outside from her window by thinking that yeah she was right that the guy whom she fell for was playing trick on her.. [ohh noo, that is not the end of the story so keep reading to know what happened to guy.. Well he didnt die nor he was cancer ok??]
Lets go back to the day when handsome guy promised her to send his parents.. On that day he comes back home and tell his parents about the girl, how beautiful, how kind she is.. His parents accept the new bride candidate already. He describes her house to his parents so that they could find easily [in old days girl and guy would never see each other until they get marry]..
The next day his parents go to girl's house and the daughter of the family just sits and waits in her room. Guy's parents open up the topic and tell them their son and daughter  have been inlove for a long time. So girl's parents finally agree to marry this couple..
On wedding day he feels like dying because of happiness but he is impatient to see her beautiful face again because she has veil on her head. After they take each other wife and  husband he lifts up the veil to kiss his beloved...



Wtf?? That is not the girl whom he has been inlove with but he only sees a girl with a turtle face.. He first thinks it is either a sort of nightmare or joke but it is not unfortunately.. He couldnt divorce his either but until he dies he still had her as his wife..



What did exactly happen in this story ?? Well guy's parents went to the nextdoor neighbour of the girl whom their son was inlove with and that family also had daughter. 

The girl whom he loved refused to talk to him  again by hearing that he got married her neighbour's daughter. So maybe she could never face with the reality that he was a victim but not a cheater.

Ohh such a tragedy so should I laugh or feel upset ?? But it was a real story not make up one.. Because the handsome man is my bro in law's dad and the girl whom he got married mistakenly is his mom..

So who wants to have an arranged marriage?
[All the single people already ran away early before I asked this question I guess]. Night Night.

Rrrrraaaaaaaa


Ohh I just remembered one of his gigs. We really rocked ^^ 
the real song is after 02:20  heheh



Pure Morning

Thursday, November 15

No Mercy, No Cry


I wanna begin this entry with the question of 

" Why the most stupid, idiot, asshole people are living on this earth although we have such a huge solar system for them ?? " Why not on Pluto but here??
- Ohh damn it.. 
Sometimes I really feel inside that I would give my everything willingly just to puch some people's nose and see them squirting blood like hell.. 
It reminded me of my classmate how he punched the teacher and broke his nose when we were only 14. Anyway.

Seriously, I could spend one more day  out of my rest of the life neither killing myself nor having a nervous breakdown again. Thanks to my wife.. I am really grateful to her as she is the most patient and understanding friend I could ever have.. 

"Life is hard, life is always cruel,
 Life is merciless enemy of my joy,
 As if there aint no other in the world
 Life assumes that I am its best toy."

Well just this poor stanza poured out of my inspired mouth. I am not a poet, I can never be but I wish I could  be a male poet and live in 16th century. Probably I would fall inlove with an ungrateful mistress and die because of suffering with her love torments or executed because of adultery but I would be a happy corpse.

I was thinking I could beat it this time by ignoring and laughing but life is nothing but the sorrow..



-Knock Knock. -Who is it? -I am Bad Mood.


Sometimes there are some unnecessary word salads that might already contain the main idea already. But the only thing is to wait patiently for people to comprehend. Acquisition joints.
Such a crazy morning and I feel terrible again. I wonder when this feeling will leave me forever. Go, go, go and please never come back. Because I dislike you.


Subject is always the same "she" and it is never replaced with any other subjects.. Why not it is "they" or "we" ?? 



I think there are some points when we are less enduring, I feel as if I am like this bulb above..  
I am just shattered and I dont know where my pieces are.. So if you know where it is just take it back to me as one piece is even better than none..

I need to gather them..

The Language Of The Flowers

Mulperipuu :3

When I was a little kid I used to think that mulberry grows up only in our garden. Because I never saw around . But actually it is really nice to come across the traces of mulberry in other countries too... I am still confused with the berries except strawberry..
Blueberry, blackberry, raspberry and so on ...What the hell :D I have to admit that I had to check out for mulberry if it is the same fruit I mean in turkish or not ... 


I have found these flowers so cute, I don't like blue though.. I just think that blue colored flowers bring bad luck somehow.. Especially blue roses as they are not that easy to find around in florists and sometimes I doubt that if they paint some white roses to blue to sell much more than usual ? An easy way to make fool of some newly couples.. In Turkey, I think that blue roses mean ''divine love'' or ''uniqueness''.. But who cares about it these days?? People just don't know how to appreciate when it is really necessary as a result it is one of the most important problem of the today's society... 




How tiny they were and their color is attention taking among those other weeds as if something blue dropped on the floor.. But it is so bad that I don't know that flower's name.. I don't know..Maybe it doesn't have a specific name.. Maybe I should call my friend who is studying Biology so maybe she can help.. 


And some roses planted among green onions... But they are about to die I guess because of  the weather.. My brother in law was just joking with my mom by saying that ' if you plant them among onions of course they will die because of their smell '.. He got the point but mom still thinks that it is the best way to grow up roses among onions, I still don't know the reason though... 


After taking the picture of roses above, I couldn't skip this flower.. I don't like pink things but they look good somehow. Maybe the color between pink and white is cool.. They are  pretty because they seem so puffy lol.. But be careful about the thorns.. It hurts much... 


Here is an another proof that mom is not a gardener but flower murderer :D I think it is the only rose left out of eight. I remember that when I was a little kid we used to have colorful roses planted in our garden home and everyday I would cut few of them also with lilac and put them into a vase. They used to smell awesome... Old days !!!





This is zucchinni blossom.. Such an hard dude... Early in the morning, the flower blossoms and in the evening it closes down the leaves.. Actually we cook that flower by putting flavoured rice in it.. I eat almost everything which includes rice.. Even rice itself. I know that in the future, eating too much rice may cause high blood sugar.
Diabet briefly.. But it tastes really cool with some black pepper ' achewwww '. LOL   


I had to get up earlier than usual not to miss my chance.. You can even feel soil smell and some insects are wandering around early in the morning which is more than ewww..And of course bees were like dancing on the flowers and eating some ambrosia while trying to get the best honey nectar.. That was an ''mythological metaphor'' of course.. You know that each god and goddess has a specific flower which is identified with them, so why not bees?

I wish I could be a 'phoenix' and reborn from my ashes once more... I wish I could fly over the sky, over the countries to see all over the world.. I would descend on the window of my beloved... I know that you are watching 'Supernatural'...


These flowers were somehow weird as they seemed pentagon starlike.. But they are cute even though they don't smell nor have any specific features.. 

I am really sorry that I took these pictures last summer and forgot to complete and publish this entry. A poppy leaf. Hehe this just reminded me of my childhood. We used to stick them under our chin and act like we are cocks: "üüü üüüü üüü" 


Daisy: I like them.. We used to collect them all and then make a circlet... We knew how to make each other happier I guess. The purest choldhood.. I wish we could live in pur own childhood dreams because the world was very simple and wonderful.

It was a time of sunset and this is one of my mom's flowers. I think she is too patient to raise them but I dont think I could wait such a long time..  

These tiny blue flowers took my attention among the dasies as well. Maybe Nature is not indifferent to humankind. There is always beauty in the flowers that we are given as gifts.

Yellow dasies. Actually I never liked them in my life as they look awkward. I used to collect and then throw away hehehe..


Maybe you guys will understand  the reason why do I like green a lot.. Green is the color of nature, peace and trust.

In my opinion these flowers were  pretty awesome even though I dont really like yellow color in flowers. Because yellow color always reminds me of something upset. 

In Turkey, yellow flowers represent farewell.. In ancient tradional times mostly guys  used to give their lovers yellow flowers when they are determined to break up with them. It sounds me a bit ridiculous but you know that I cant deny the facts.

Here is an apricot tree. I used to climb up and swing. One of my favourite summer season fruits is apricot.

Unripe grapes. They were very cute and I really like this green in everything.. Who knows maybe I am an alien. By the way this grapes were black...

Almond and almond seeds. Oh my God, such a heavenly taste in the world. Dunno, I really love this taste so much. But you need to spend some time to crack and clean the seeds..



Strawberries.. I think it is one of my favourite fruit among red fruits.  Well it is a great mixture with chocolate or cream but high energy and calories of course :(((


I think I dont hate any fruit as much as I hate quince. Although I like its shape its taste is awful maybe.. That weird sour taste is killing me even though I like sour. Uhhh.. 


Another simple flower. I dont really know why does mom still raise it :D because it has nothing special except reddish blossom.. Anyways..


Honey bee :)) It made me run behind for few minutes because it never landed on somewhere.. 


Pepper.. Even if I thought almost hundred years I would never know pepper contains vitamin C.. It is very awkward indeed... Besides I dont like eating pepper.


Here are some more flowers that dont have any special features but they are doing the best job ever... Photosynthesis ^&^ so dont we need oxygen in order to survive?? 




I guess it is the smallest grapes leaf :) it was very cute...



Cherries.. But they are sweet cherries, of course we have sour cherries too but I like sweet cherries more than sour ones..



White mulberry tree :)) Yummyyy. It was time to enjoy it but wheew summer is already over long time ago.. I am not that much sad though. Because as a season, I like winter more than summer... Maybe I am the girl of cold weathers...




Here the nature is.. I know it is simple but everything is in order, everything is for humans... That is the beauty of the nature.. Even if we dont have to give anything we receive a lot from it for our benefits..