Achilles Heel

Sometimes I just want to be all alone.

Today was one of those days

Because I am just mad.

Yeah I had rest enough and my soul is getting older by losing the hildish cheer at all.

Whole day I got bored and bored

But it wasnt a kind of simple boredom.

I just suffered because of nothing.

It is not nothing but it is something that I couldnt explore what was it.

Sadness covered my sky and it rained heavily to soak me up. As being a rain lover I began to hate that rain too.

I am just loosing my way.

Silence take over my kingdom and rule.

Endless arrows are hitting me and 

obviously I am shot by my heel.

I am very weak now because

I faint to pass away.

In The Arms Of Heretic

I was supposed to add this picture many many days ago but I was really lazy.

So here you gooooooooo.. 

I just had fun after taking shower.

My hair is not straight as it seems unles I straighten it. I really hate being curly but it is cool sometimes. What would happen if i had such type of hair that is never curled up? O_O

Yeah thanx god.

At least I can shape it somehow even if it takes my hours to do something good.

I know I am so wicked hahah.

All I need is more wickedness I guess.

See you.

You Say You Dream Of My Face But You Dont Like Me

"I would cry when you are sleeping

I always hid in my own feeling.

Forgive me for my being

Because

I hated you from the beginning."

Well these lines poured out of my lips.

I dont know I havent written any single  poem for a long time either.

So goodmorning fellas.

I had a sweet dream but naaa

I wont tell about but it.

I have no proper word to describe today.

It was such a weird day at all

To check my feelings indeed if I still have them or not. I was not me for sure.

So I just let it go, i spent the day outburst of laughter. My God, hope I am not going

insane hahaha.

I went for a walk a bit..

Weather was freezing

Yeah snow

SNOW.

Snowflakes on my forehead

Well I began my day with Justin

I know it is very old but dont know it made my day. Because it reminds me of my 17s.

Intro sounds like a Turkish song.

I mean the musical instrument

sounded me like Blacksea

region one.

Anyway my nephew made me sick the rest of the day.. Oh why this little guy is that shit head. He is only 7 but he is professional enough to get on my nerves. He makes noise, jumps on my bed..He is ultra hyper
 LITTLE STUPID BASTARD.

That is mom and my nephew.

I took yesterday and mom will be spending her monday at dentist for her tooth.
Hahahah little bastard also pulled out his first baby tooth xD
It is surprising that both of them have the same teeth missing ahahaha

That is it. 

It Just Feels So Right

Look, If you had

One shot

Or

One opportunity

To seize everything 

you ever wanted in one moment

Would you capture it 

Or

Just let it slip?

So I just captured. It is how I would wake my friends up in a sweet way :DDD

I hope that I didnt turn your sweet morning into some kind of scary nightmare.

Wejjjkkk Apppp..

vocaroo.com/i/s0KFtVHsO8xr

You And Me Bubbling

Tell me it is not a nightmare again..

Ohh my nose began to bleed early in the morning. It's a new kind of sign because my nose never bled for years maybe 12 years in my life :D ohh it is made of steel [this just reminds me of Cashew's video - I NEVER GET SICK, NEVERRRRR NEVEERRR, IT IS NOT NORMAL] hahah. And I was at my cousin's  until the afternoon we had breakfast. Oh that girl makes me crazy. Anyway I am glad that I came back to home.. 

By the way 

I had my record singing in Finnish. I guess I really fucked the song by myself :DDD because some parts are really hard for me.

vocaroo.com/i/s1TduKTMczKz

Never mind ;) 

Cashew also shared the video of her "survival in bare cold Finland while going school" ... I never get sick, neverrr nevverrr *coughs* :DDD ohh you are killing me here. 

Well I just spent rest of my day at home by trying to find my bookmarkers.. Fuckkk yeah I am already late. Then shower shower shower .. I cant even find peace in shower. I cut my ankle and it made me feel like passing out. I am sick of this blood phobia at all.. I also had voice chat with Theo.. She was sad, we share the same problem somehow. GIRL it will be fine at all.. 

Ohhhh insomnia but I need to sleep now.

Goodnight.

Login Failed

Last night I was very depressed and I had nobody else to talk. Actually I have but I dont want anyone to involve in my problem because it makes them upset as well. I dont want to disturb people around me nor depress them as they never understand the things. Well so early in the morning I visited my cousin and left her my stuff.
Mobile as well so that she can handle and I just wanted to be alone and meditate. Because I really need it. I need to think over the situation I am currently in.
I spent the day outside for 7 hours and of course she got worried and argued with my friends by urging them if they know something where could I be.

I saw what they texted. I never knew my cousin's opinions about me.That I am a slut.
Just my opinions are far different than my family and nobody understands it..
I cannot tell about rest of the day.
Because it is some more shit.
I just hate my culture and tradition.
Maybe I dont hate anything
but it is people around me who
 to make me hate.. I was just thinking that
nobody really cares nothing about me.
But I just felt relieved a bit because I have 2 wondersome best friends who care me.
I am sorry to worry you guys.
♥ I love you both ♥
And I swear that if someday we offend each other and dont keep in touch or die
I will always remember both of you good
and just tell I had the greatest bliss of my life
with you two shining stars.
Here my writing is done for today.
Keep calm and get ready for one another adventurous story of tomorrow.
Ja Kiitos Cashew
Und Danke Theo
Night Night. 

When We First Kissed

Well to admit that

it was such a bad beginning to the first light of the day. Baby I know sometimes it is gonna rain as it cannot be sunny all the time but I dont feel alright.. I had my ex bf in my dream. We were really happy, hand to hand and then he hugged me so tight that I felt his warmth. He was kissing my lips saying that he missed me a lot.

Omg then I woke up.. Why these dreams dont  keep that long? Fufufufu..

I never got any news from him because the last time we really argued that we cant even make friends. It was more than 3 months ago when I last talked to him. I wouldnt want my relationship to turn into mess but people change by time.. But still I am thankful that I had happy and good memories.

Anyway..
I am pissed off again. Fuck this sudden mood change. I need to handle with it but I really dont know how to fix it. I am pretty tense and I try to control it at all. I am just bored and upset.. Sometimes people really dont understand me. Especially my mom.. She pisses me off at all because we are svery different. She doesnt want to understand my world and I really dont wanna be involve in her world.

Night Night.

The Awakening

Hello Guysss!!

I have many things to mention ^^
But let me talk about
previous day
Because
I have some stuff to do today
But dont worry I will
type about it too.

January 8, 2013

In the morning I woke up with backpain again. Fuck that shit as it doesnt heal over

as it is all because of my ovaries. I have been taking those pills for almost 3 months and nothing has changed except my period regularity.. 

But thanks God I am not bleeding randomly at least. That is the only good thing I guess.

By the way

I am eating orange while typing.

You know I like fruits a lot.

And it is healthy.

So guyssss

DO EAT FRUITS.

Anyway

I was just expecting such a terrible day at all because all I did was to study and I was

freaking bored.

In the evening I chatted with Theo

She was fucking moody as well.

It is because of that Daley girl. Maybe I cant be shared. I would never think that

I will be precious LOL.

Yeah I know sometimes things suck.

But it made me laugh a bit.

I need to handle with this 

Then a ring ^^

Whooaa 

My dearest Cashew 

got Whatsapp.

♥♥♥

[Hey you, I am very glad that you had]

It was much more fun after we exchanged some files.. Especially voice records.

LOL

[Man your voice was like HOOOO]
I enjoyed a lot..

And Cashew came back to skype world.
It has been ages that she hasnt signed in ohh maybe since summer..
So I am proud of presenting this:

Yea, It is a legend :D

The meaning of today in history
Hehehe we will always remember
As long as you dont forget your password.
Naaaaa, never ever again.
[By the way that one you currently have on your profile is my most favourite.
I needed to emphasize]
Girl you are amazing !!!

And maybe you guys know that I collect bookmarkers.. Uhh ohh but my friends and my niece took many of them and they didnt bring back.. Lets say they stole them. xD
Theo just showed me her collection.
Ohh they areeeeeeeee
WONDERSOME
♥♥

And few more pictures of them..
Wait a second because I need to upload.

Here they go now.
My God they are pretty..
Theo you made me jelous at all LOL.

Need to go now. I have many things to do indeed right now..
I am grateful that you guys made my day.
Love you and I emphasize again that
I am the luckiest person to have
such brilliant and insane
friends like you.
♥♥♥
T & C

Illuminati

Bildiklerin gördüklerinden ibaret. Ama herşeyi görüyor musun?
İşte sana görmediklerini vaat ediyorum. İyice düşün, gerçekten istiyor musun?

Whatever you know consists of only what you see. But do you think you see everything?
Here, I am promising you to show whatever you dont see. Think over carefully, do you really want?

Up On The Floor

Poor me !!!

Yeah poor me as I fell asleep on my floor last night that my ear folded and squeezed between my head and floor.. It was pretty red early in the morning.

It hurts a lot and cruel people because nobody woke me up so that I climb up on my bed and sleep in it.. I wont forgive you for that at all LOL.

Oh I was damn tired yesterday because I had voice chat with 3 friends in a row.

Omigod,

Theodora has a sweet voice that I never expected from her and she is very beautiful.

We had a lot to talk, especially gossip about the formspringers which made me laugh a lot indeed.. She is crazy.. Uhm not crazy, as crazy word is not enough to describe her personality but lets say she is insane.

Funny things are going around

but maybe I cannot mention

over here that nuch

anyways.

The Voice

Hello
Well just added the link that I sing "she will be loved" by maroon 5
I like that song since my 15s and I sang as solo many times.. But well it was hard for me to find the song in karaoke format so I decided to sing with the solist lol.. Hope you like it


vocaroo.com/i/s1XToGUlnGul

The Waves

Hello

Actually I had to change the content of this entry from top to bottom because of the breaking news.. I am just tired of this scandal family at all and they drown me in dark deep ocean because they would never understand me, my ideas are always nonsense to them and their ideas are always primitive for me.
My sisters, mom, relatives, kinsmen.. All of them, really all of them.

Like the scholasticism in medieval period and stupid superstitions..
My God I am dying at all as I have been applied sympathetic magic for thousand years.

I need to split up from Vatican* and set up my own Chuch of England.*
You know what I mean but how could I do that without excommunication?*
That's all I have been thinking of..
They force me to practise their own religion*
I am Martin Luther* to my family and they try to set fire on my belief because they are really blinded by their own worshipping way*
As I am tired of their selling the land pieces of Heaven.*
But you know even Henry VIII covert his citizen to protestant, he was a catholic by himself.
So I could be Henry VIII as well.
All I need is mustache and crown then so let me find them from somewhere else

And my sister.
I dont know if I am being a bit cruel but but but "what goes around, comes back around" so maybe you deserve what you face with right now. Anyway I dont want to talk about it.

SOME METAPHORIC TERMS

Vatican: My family

Church of England: My own freedom

Excommunication: Being disowned

Religion: Lifestyle, tradition, culture, ideas

Worshippig way: Superstitions, their own ideas

Selling  the land pieces of Heaven: Forcing me their ideas so as to have good deeds

It's Nice To Meet You Sir.

Bad me... Baddddd meeeee..

As I couldnt be able to write something interesting. My life is boring already but well maybe I can tell you this:

It is snowing !!! 

♥♥♥♥♥

But it is even boring because there is still no snow on the ground as it snows and stops then snows again then stops.

I try to finish my letters that I have been writing, well so many people to write and less time to sit and check.

Never mind, my friends wouldnt mind that much as we are chatting daily ^^

Well Night Night

I Can Love You More Than They Hate

You have always been laughed at
Unattached in all you do
In the end descending into the rain,
“My favorite umbrella has been blown away” you say
With appreciation for your efforts,
I’ve been treading upon that field
As always you are a disliked person
People keeping their distance without reason
Even though you’ve put in much effort
Thinking “It must be for some reason or another”
You’re at a loss and have fallen into sadness
So it’s fine to use my voice!
Not able to be understood by humans,
A painful, terrible voice
Even if it’s called such things
I’ll surely become your strength
So let me sing and you’ll see
Yes, let me sing your very own words
Compose them and join them together
I’ll cry out those words and feelings
Lay out your ideals
I won’t let anyone touch those feelings
And then the voice of the Odds & Ends will ring out
Clumsily connecting the truth together
Raising a big voice with all my might
Together we thought of so many words to say, haven’t we?
And yet, right now a single one doesn’t come to mind
But still everything is understood
“I see, surely this is a dream. Never waking up, coming to know you, that kind of dream.”
The Odds & Ends keeping a smiling face like that
No matter how much I call out, it still won’t move
At your desired conclusion, crying and screaming
It’s a lie right? It’s not true!
Yes, cry and scream
“I’m powerless”
I could not rescue even a single neglected item
Those feeling, through your tears,
Stain your cheeks one by one
At that time,
The world will change that color in a grand way
Sadness and joy
All will be felt together as one
When I begin to sing
The world will once again go around for your sake
That voice entrusted with your intentions
Right now those feelings will ring out

Call Me When You Are Sober

I have been willing to type for few days but I was again haunted by laziness and there are still many things on my mind to worry me.

Ohh why?? Tell me why??

 It is so fucking that nobody understands.

I had a huge fight last night with mom and my elder sister that I couldnt help crying.

Why I am the one always blamed.

Nooo I cant bear anymore.

I am so sick of this life and fuck this shit that I wont go job interview tomorrow..

Because I am really pissed off.

Nobody asks what I really want from the life

but they are always trying to impose what they want me to be.

Come on I am not a sculpture to be shaped as much as they want.. I have my own ideas and my own feelings and I will be glad if they just set me free.

And 

This is my life..

If i wanna ruin then I will ruin it.

I am tired of being controlled and pressured.

Everybody is stupid around me to follow every second of my actions.

Prejudiced, judgemental, they think it is the easiest way to be me without knowing the thoughts in my mind..

Fuck my life is not easy, nobody's life is easy

but why the hell you feel jealous of my life?

Nothing to feel envious too much

So why do people just say:

 "I wish I could be in your shoes"

Really?

You would kill yourself in a second if you were in my shoes, asshole. Because I know that you wouldnt be able to stand one more second to keep my life..

So shut up

Shut up forever and mind your own business

because you have no idea about what I am fighting with in my mind..

Yeah I am being rude right now

So what?

You can never know unless you are me.

So stop judging me as long as you know nothing about me.

Get your own life instead of involving in mine alright?

I know it is madness

Paradoxical Nightmares

:'( Morning..Nightmare again and i missed your hugs..I am just trembling trembling all over :(((( My face hurts especially my eyes because in my dream I saw that i was in a hospital and having operation from my eyes.. It hurt a lot :'( I was scraming because of the pain.. They poked sharp things into my eyes and I was tied up on a sickbed.. My hands were tied that I couldnt move and something stratched my eyes so deep that it made me cry out so loud. And hearing my own scream awoke me.. Someone gouged my eyes and I got blinded to darkness.. It was painful.. Painful like hell :'(

Omg I still feel like crying..I dont know if it is subconscious but my eyes really hurt as if soneone fingered my eyes :(

I dont really know if we really live in dreams sometimes or dreams are reflection of our pains while we are sleeping.

My best friend also saw same kind of dream  Oh I really got scared too much :((

Hope that we dont have evil news !!!

That summarizes the event I guess. LOL

Sweet Dreams

onkkk 12pm I fewl aswwiip för 10 minuten and I haff yew in ma dream..  it wuz sö cuwtt dat wi were in a gawden, everywhee wuz gween and sum buttaflies and sum daisiess, wi were switting on a bank side by side.. yew were tewling mi sumfing and then wi giwggled. I tod yew I miwssed yew a lot sö yew geyv mi a warm hug.. I rewly sensed hoe wam it wuz aws if it wuz reawl.. i wuz sö heppiiii and rwaxed..

Then Shit I woke up.. :( fuck it, i thought it was real :( and I felt sad when i woke up cuz the dream was gone.

Turkkilainen Onni ja Amerikkalainen Georgie

Previously on Desperate-life !!!

Well I was gonna post the picture of these two important figures in my life but I couldnt have time especially on xmas day.

As I mentioned before that we turkish people do not celebrate xmas. How pity but well I gave myself a gift :D

This is Onni.

Oh my God. I really love polar bears so much. They are very cute ^^

Onni means luck in Finnish and thanx for Cashew to give idea about names to find for him. It suits him as well.

These are Georgie and Onni

Georgie is now a big brother and he takes care of his little brother Onni lololol.

This is Georgie

He was very lonely before his little brother Onni was born. So he was extremely excited and clapping when he first saw Onni lol.

Dont ever ask why their colors are different, it is because they are biracial hahah..

Moral: No Racism, Yes Brotherhood.

We Could Be The Same

LoL.. It is not an elevator but my spaceship :D Wtf, why the elevators always have dim light as if somehing mysterious will happen inside?

I hate this camera especially when I am about to take night time pictures..

Hello world !! This is a friendly alien that landed on Earth from Venus :D

I dunno but I liked the picture somehow.

Previously On DesperateLife

Well I am really sorry that I havent been able to post  these silly stuffs before as I really didnt have much time and I dont think I will  have much time to keep being online following days as well so I try to post as much as I can whenever I am free.

Last time I just wrote my arm something with an invisible pen and lololol I coulsnt remove it for a long time but thanx God it was invisible unless I put a purple light on it ahahah damn, it was very silly..

I guess it was better in the darkness :)
So I had to take shower 3 times till it remived lololol
All the crazy stuff find me at all.

It's A Piece Of Cake

Goodnight !!

I guess I have a lot to tell right now. But first I need to arrange the things on my mind as it seems it is gonna be a long story. All in all I thought that it is another simple and boring day of my life span but I would never know Cashew and Theo will make my day. [Thank you guys]

There were many things on my mind which make me worry a lot. Actually it has been such a terrible week that passed with full of waiting for something. I am just tired and bored of it at all. I need regularity as I am ruining my life on my own.

I will have job interview soon I guess.. I dont really wanna talk about it unless  I get the job because my first interview ended up with failure so I wont conment if the things never get certainity. Anyway.

I am just depressed I guess..As nothing goes right and everything is a mess. I just pretend to be glad as if I dont have any problems.. I dont expect too much but I wish people could know how little things make me the happiest person in the world..

While having two insane friends how do you expect me to feel upset constantly..They make me feel I am cared and never be alone.

Well I know Theo is a bit weird but I never had a normal friend in my life :D That is what makes me smile when I think about. Friends always accept each other as the way they are. ♥

I spent whole afternoon by chatting with Cashew. Dunno if she had some fun, me and my silly imaginations.. How would our current situation be if we were in WW3. It is sad to talk about war but you know I am a jackass that I can make fun of everything except some serious stuff..

What made me giggle a lot is that Cashew went for running to feel more energetic but she came back by feeling sick. I told her to have rest tho. She is insane in a way but lol she is always cute and kind to me that is what makes me love her as my best friend :D

In the evening I decided to bake a cake actually it was in the afternoon when i decided so that it gets ready for Cashew to eat but well I had some urgent stuff to do earlier. Anyway. The cake is called Revani in Turkish. But it tastes sour sweet like lemon cake.. Of course Cashew was there as a cheerleader to motivate me ahahah.

Second reason why I love Cashew is that even if put a piece of coal before her to eat, maybe she would eat not to give offense.. ♥ My kind hearted best friend.. Btw she is a good cook ^^  I am proud of her :D

Yeah eventually I baked the cake.. Well a bit burnt because of mom's oven but it was her idea to bake it in second oven although I insisted that I should use the other oven as I know its qualifications more than this one but there is no such a big problem anyway..

Tadaa, here it is ^^

By the way there is some cake for everyone !! And of course my anxiety continued lololol so I made fun of it at all.. Want some proof? Okay then here is another conversation history...

Yeah I had to ask for copy rights  in the end so as not to be arrested :DDD I am grateful to have those 2 insane girls.. They push me to smile even if I really dont feel like to..

God bless you guys !! 

Life Strings

As my guitar has 6 strings, so does my life

School life  >>> 15%

Business life  >>> 20% 

Family life >>> 10%

Friendship life >>> 35%

Love life >>> 0%

Private life >>> 20%

Rates are defined according to how much time I spend on them.

If one could balance all of them would s/he be a perfect person? I am just curious at all.

This last week I barely did something remarkable.
Actually I wanted to talk to Cashew man to man :D but well damn i had to take my nephew to basketball match. I had many things on my mind to share with her but I forgot them all and I dont think I could express myself either.
Anyway, maybe she forgave me already and hope that she really feels better than yesterday. I am just scared of making a deadly mistake in order to be kicked out of her life forever. I am worried about it because I owe her still as she has listened to me for a long time. Besides she means a lot to me as a friend.

Psshhhh little silly hedgehog, please dont read these while you are drunk or something  okay? :D

LOL Cashew, this made me giggle at all. Where does that hate word come from all the time? 

Naaa bro, no hate, no fight, I might get angry or mad at you but nothing would make me hate you, NOTHING. All I want is to make you recognise that I care you a lot.

Annndddddddd !!!!

Tip 1- I never pick easy people as my friends.

Tip 2- I dont give up on my friends that quick

Tip 3- Obstacles and hardiness make friends and the relationship between them stronger and teach quite a lot.

So dear Cashew,

 I wont give up on you until you dont want me around seriously.

How happy to have you as my friend.

Welcome to my friendship

Welcome to my heart.

P.S Maybe we will remember this writing few years later and smile :)

Night Night 

Kaju.

Chris-Mus

Moiii

Such an important day for the christian world, today is christmas :) So Santa fanta lets jingle bells, jingle jingle !! 

Well actually Turkey is a kind of weird country that we never celebrate xmas. I just wonder if there are some Turkish people who celebrate 25th December as Christmas. Because I live where the muslims are the majority.

Actually it wasnt a pretty day for me as I had some evil news about a friend whom I have been making friends for 4 years during my university time. That is life and people really dont know the values of what they currently have until they lose them. And then they try to take it back. But you know Paradise is Lost already.

Today was my 23rd official birthday :) But well not so many people knows except 4 people. I dont mind as I dont like birthday stuff.

I felt upset a bit as I missed my best friend. She is not around for few days and she wont be for a week I guess. And maybe Cashew made me a little bit sad as well..Hope that things get well all around as soon as possible.

I wanna make people happier, that is what my first aim is in this life. Because I know myself and I cant help this.

Who knows maybe I am the master of the puppets.

What's Wrong?

These days I just dont feel alright.. Maybe I am in conflict with myself.. My mind is like a garbage can and I cannot find some reasons to make myself move on. I am stuck with the past so i cannot live my present.. Please dont tell me about the future thingy as I really dont know what will life bring me. I wanna these years pass away or just stop at all.. Tomorrow I become 23. It is depressing me, well yeah it was me who wanted to grow up when i was 17 but well my best age was 19. No more.. I am not afraid of ageing, I am just afraid what I am gonna face with. It has never been easy for me to come this far..

I took a walk in the morning..

It is raining and I love rain you know..

But I recognized that I feel bored of rain too.

There is no snow yet..

Even if snowed I know that I would be bored of it too as seasons doesnt entertain me.

I try to see the things from the bright side, but maybe I am too blinded or my light got so dim to illuminate my way.

I just keep losing my way.

I dont know what is wrong with me.

But I never felt this way before.

So I need some kind of salvation.

Do you hear?

The Heart Of Doom

21.12.2012    Mayans are trolling us again!

Well I have never believed in that nonsense prediction.. Why would i? 

I watched the news and saw how people and the world went crazy. Especially in Turkey. There was a man wo travelled Izmir so as to get rid of the flood :D that is not funny but the funny thing was the way he dressed.. He was like trown out of a western movie.. Cowboy hat, boots etc. Only his horse was missing. Yeah yeah dressing was gonna save him and he talked about Noah's ship ahaha maybe in ancient times he was the monkey in that ship and reborn as a human :D I am still giggling when I visualize him, I cant help at all :D and of course I texted one of my friend who was living in Izmir.. "Too bad that the world didnt end?" lol he was gonna kill me by himself. Here is my some jokes about doomsday on formspring.. Dunno but I really laughed at by myself..

So doomsday was the theme of thr day !!

Break-Down

Hello it has been so long that I havent typed anything.. Some secrets are revealing.It is fine although I feel insecure... I had few times nervous breakdown in this week but I am alright right now.. Just confused and in a rush.. Time moves so slowly at the same time so quick that i need to determine the things and move on otherwise I wont mean anything in this world.
Have you ever felt like that before?
The worst feeling is that one's eating his own self. Something is eating me inside and I dont really know it... But I really  hope that it ends up with a good result as I really need that.

Some nights I am a zombie

Let Me Out

It is too late to find and replace,

It is too late to feel regret,

It is just too late to go back to the best moment of the life.
So no regret, no cry.

Mourning that these nightmares will never come to an end.

Too much to handle,  too much to move on.

And less time to calm down.

So what is left then?

What to hold on,

Who to depend on?

If "Nothing"
If "Nobody"

What I am living for?

Life is for the wolves who play hard

Not for the weakest lambs.

Do your best my soul.

Do your best my heart.

Till the things get broken.
So that my heart never beats with the repentance of missing the best chances ever.
By being beaten from time to time
This soul will learn how to beat things down.
So fuck you, fuck those fears that captivate and torture me endlessly.
Just let me out, let me out, let me out.
As I dont need anything around.

Sinking Thoughts

I think I will have many pictures from my window but in different seasons and different times of the day :))) The sky was very beautiful.. Dreamy clouds !!!