"Dont Wanna" List

# I dont wanna talk to anyone today
# I dont wanna read any book
# I dont wanna get older
# I dont wanna have backpain
# I dont wanna see meat
# I dont wanna study
# I dont wanna smile
# I dont wanna love
# I dont wanna wear my eyeglasses
# I dont wanna sleep
# I dont wanna get notifications
# I dont wanna mom come in my room
# I dont wanna text my sister
# I dont wanna pick up calls
# I dont wanna do anything

Probably I am depressed ...

The Last Song I am Wasting On You

There are certain songs and singers that i identified them with some important people or friends in my life...

Song - Singer - The Person

My Immortal / Justin Timberlake >> Ayça
Bana Anlat / Enrique Iglesias >> Gamze
Ignorance / One Direction >> Tuğba
Ellen / Ricky Martin >> Monica
Metaphor / John Petrucci >> Katja
Breathe no more / Pitbull >> Mustafa
100% Jesus / Static-x >> Ashley
Mies Murtuu / Damien Rice >> Kaisa
Yağmurlar / Şebnem Ferah >> Feyhan
Enjoy the silence / Depeche mode >> Krista
All around me / System Of A Down >> Jenni
So I thought / Avril Lavigne >> Brittany
Seni unutsaydım beklermiydim hiç / DJ Onur >> Demet
Where have you been / Yalın >> Ayşegül
Bad Romance / Sakis >> Buket
Nakare me / Gülşen >> Betül
Call me when you are sober / Celine Dion >> Menna
Keep bleeding Love / Red Hot Chili Peppers >> Aysun
Give me everything tonight / Kesha >> Kübra
She will be loved / The Beatles >> Mr. Dean
Sad but true / Marc Antony >> Yeşim
Not to love you / Gökhan Türkmen >> Ayşe
Hero / Amr Khan >> Rohit
You were mine / Muse >> Kitty
Breathe easy / Amy Winehouse >> Sinem teacher

Oh Again?

Today I woke up early again around 7am.Actually it has been the same for about 3 weeks, I would be sleeping till 10am normally but waking up early is better I guess, because I have more daytime span to spend.

Besides I will be much more glad if I could get over this stupid pathetic mood as well..

Well I am not kidding.. In the morning I looked in the mirror but it felt like I am meaningless. Something is wrong and I cant explain to myself. I absorb all the negative thoughts and then I am trying to give off cheer&happiness and motivation to spread all around but how about myself?

"Tailor cant sew his own rip"

There is always strength in me to help my friends but I lack of it when it comes to me. I have no cure for myself, no motivation to go through and there is no one to recognise. If I always smile, it doesnt mean I am always glad..How strong do you think I could be? I am a humanbeing as well.. For sure I will have some weak points.

I spend my days in vain by waiting for happiness to come my way. I expect too much I guess..

Yeah sometimes I feel like that suicidal as I mean nothing maybe..

Why people think that I am the happiest? I just might not be able to take this anymore :(

I have many friends that I cant even count. But none of them took the first step yet. I just bother to greet and ask how they are almost everyday and they avoid of telling me simple hi. I knock at least 10 friends' door and there is no feedback.. Or I am the only one who just give disturbance.

It doesnt have to be my crush to text me in order to make me excited. It could be anyone random or an old friend... I can admit that I love and care people.

Whoever you are, I have always depended on kindness of strangers

Melancholy just give up on my way... Dont face with me as I just ruin the things.

But it isnt even a nice solution.. I am such a fool :( It wouldnt work even if I just ..... whewww, my lower lip curved out again :(

I just want to have piece of mind, NOT that drowning in my deep thoughts. Even if I am lonely, I dont wanna feel I am left all alone.

A bit weird

Just within 3 days whenever I unlocked my mobile ... Probably I will be dead at the end of 5th day LOL.

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Instagram

I just wonder who the hell thought of the name of this application, what was his position and what mood he was in while s/he was giving instagram name or what was her/his state of mind? I didnt search for it really but I got a humorous idea again xD

Just analyzing the name. Who would name instagram how?
Just follow the capital letters and relate.

IN MY OPINION
If the moderator was on a diet:
instaGRam

If the moderator who liked to archieve pictures:
insTAGram

If the moderator who was into too much computers:
instagRAM

If the moderator who was a Turkish pervert:
INstagrAM  [Am means cunt ahahaha]
instagRUB

If the moderator was a saint:
inST.agrAMEN

If the mederator was a gladiator:
INstagROME

If the moderator was a silver searching chemist:
instAGram

If the moderator was stupid teen:
inSWAGram

If the moderator was an extremely talkative person:
iNstAGram

If the moderator was a drunkard:
instagROM

If the moderator was an assassin:
inSTABram

If the moderator was a nude girl:
iNOstaBRAm

If the moderator was a dark hero:
insBATMAN

If the moderator was a lion:
instagRAWR

If the mederator was ancient egyptian sun god:
instagRAm ["Who is the ancient egyptian sun god" was the most common question which I come across while I was dealing with turkish riddles, hahah]

If the mederator was a bully:
inStaPrAM

If the moderator was a railroad driver:
insTagRAM

If the moderator was a failure:
inStUCKgram

If the moderator was obsessive:
inSTUCKram

If the moderator was a baby to be slept in blanket:
INsTUCKram

If the moderator was a wanker:
insFABram

If the moderator was ______ :
inSTUFFram *** [fill the blank with something related as my mind doesnt work for it at all]

If the moderator was swearing dickhead:
in_STFU_DRAMa :DDD

ahahaha I laughed a lot and my imagination exhausted here...

IF YOU HAVE ANY NEW FUNNY AND WITTY SUGGESTION FOR INSTAGRAM THEN PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT SO THAT WE ENJOY, BESIDES I WILL ADD IT INTO LIST

Time Ship - Part II

Not only computers but also mobile phones took the advantage of technology to benefit :)))) Even electronic device boxes got smaller and became more elite and eyecatching...

So I should mention my mobiles that I have used as well. Either I sold them out or they were just broken that is why I couldnt keep them in the hand but I just searched their online pictures :) it really enjoyed me.By the way this is my 10th mobile which I am currently using.

MOBILE CHRONOLOGY

#1 Gsm mobile

my first mobile was something like this but I couldnt even find its proper picture.it had the thinnest external microphone ahah, it really looks like radiophone though.

#2 Ericsson T28

Exactly i had this and it was really cool that I used to love it.

#3 Siemens sl 55

Omg..It was really that small and had an external camera heheh

#4 Nokia 6280 slide

I used to like slide mobiles very much :)

#5 Nokia 6500 slide black

it was my ex bf's gift..But it was broken down so I gave it to service and they couldnt fix it. So they sent it Finland and they couldnt fix it too..So they exhanged it to new one.

#6 Nokia 6500 slide grey

LOL it was the metal color which I was wishing for although my ex gave me black one. Thanx Finland ehehe..

#7 General Mobile

God I must be damn fool to use such an awful mobile after Nokia xD it was heavy and stupid but had pen. It really suffered me as there is no "Silent" mode..it vibrates like hell so I had to shut it down during my class time.By the way I lost it for a day then the next day I found it back as it was under a tree where I dropped. Probably nobody wanted so anyone didnt even bother to take it ahahah.

#8 Nokia 5800 xpressmusic

It was my best mobile so far. Lets say it is primitive and the cheapest iphone xD It doesnt support all applications but skype, fring, twitter, facebook, foursquare and whatsapp were working with it.. And the best part of it was extra strong speakers to enjoy music with high quality. Highly enough for me and 3.2 megapixel camera wasnt that bad really, hehehe..

#9 Samsung gt s5620

My bro in law gave it to me. It is not that functional but I liked the widgets. It has strong speaker too. Probably the best samsung which has the sexiest ringtones.My favourite samsung ringtone is "the secret only4U"

Number #10 Samsung Galaxy S III

Well this mobile is such an epic, the first time when I saw it on a stand was in August 20th. But I couldnt have chance to check it out.. Few weeks later my Finnish friend mentioned.I was in between iphone5 and samsung s3 for a long time and I read comparison comments online and made up my mind to buy.Currently I am using and no regrets :D such an awesome smart mobile with awesome features and applications that will surprise you.. The only missing, It doesnt have such cool ringtones and you cant have we♥it as an app xD but it is not such a big deal (but it is for Cashew and me hahah). Anyway, I love my baby !!

Time Ship - Part I

Whole day I have been trying to tidy up my bedroom and I found back the stuff which I was thinking I already lost them.. They all were somewhere, either left behind the clothes or in boxes of course.. All of them made me smile at all.

So welcome to my ship, I am the captain and I will take you such a journey that goes back to 1998s. Ready? Then lets go.

First of all I should mention that I have had many electronic devices since my childhood as I follow technology somehow.

Everthing began when I have founded this

Yeah my braun toothbrush and I never used it though because i wasnt that patient at nights to wait for charging it xD

Here is my first external webcam and modem.. they reminded me of my dad as they were my 13th birthday gift from him :) Probably they are still working.

My first CD when I was 4 :)
#2 - Reel for Real - I like to move it
#4 - Scatman - I'm the scatman
I just remember their rows hehe..

My 2nd CD when I was 7..My favourite was #5 Billy Ocean - Love really hurts without you ^^
Ohh Just noticed that John Travolta is in the album xD

Well, these CDs have such a funny&serious story. I was 8 and went to supermarket to buy newspaper.Market staff just gave me these CDs to watch. I just read "Günlük" (Diary) part and I never checked the picture nor the writing "the diary of a sex addict" on it. If I read I wouldnt understand either. At home I just put it DVD and watched a bit. My sister noticed it and shut the TV. Actually sexual scenes are not shown.

My toshiba satellite..I used it from my 10s to 14s.It is still working and connects internet :D but extremely slow heheh.It has windows97 as I remember.

My Compaq.I used it from my 14s to 17s. It is still working too..It has windowsXP.

My HP. I used it from my 18s to 22s.. it has windowsVista and I really hate it. It works from time to time for 10mins and shuts down hehe..

My Babies, technology came this far within 12 years.

My printer Hp Deskjet 3745.Well it has colorful and black ink section and it is still working although I didnt suit it to my new laptop..I used it from my 15s to 17s.

Another proof for the technology..Highly smaller memory cards.

And remote control of my HP.. Well I was using it while watching movie on my laptop but my pc is not working anymore T_T

From right to left: Turkish, Dutch, Chinese/American plugs.It always makes me crazy, why do we all have to use different plugs? @#$% Upside down pictures are mind blowing right? hahahah

Are We From The Same Planet?

Everyone has his own special aspect towards life. So we have such different friends all around who are like philosophers. Even though we would never expect those from them. Because the things which we might never be able to answer for years are just simply discovered by them

Wish you find the answers of your Whys.

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Wings Of The Butterflies

Life is always indifferent to humanbeing, it is always hard, it is always cruel but it is not always dreadful. We never recognize that life is fair indeed.. For example if you have 13 pebbles strength to resist then life puts your obstacles equal with 13 pebbles, neither much nor less than this. Some have 6pebbles and some have 25pebbles burden so it is better not to complain as we are strong enough as much as we bear.

Besides if the world is bad then deal with it as it is just part of it because you have the strength in your veins as long as your heart beats. I dont tell those to flatter you, I tell these because it is the fact that what is supposed to be. We have to be strong as we are not made for giving up easily dear.

There will be some days

When you will feel there is no such difference between you and the others. But you will never want to be that simple to fade away in a huge crowd. This fear will be the leading trigger.Therefore you will have to try hard to create your own difference. To be the most different.

There will be some days

When you will think you have found your greatest match. You and your significant other will like and reflect the same color. You will receive what you give. Even you will give more to receive. That will make you realize that you dont profit anymore as it is not the exact match but a temporary impression. So you will feel you need to leave as it is in vain to stay although you might feel it is like killing yourself, but you have to survive somehow so it will be your reason to move on for the sake of seeking what you lack.

There will be some days

When you will feel totally isolated as you will think nobody understands you nor you understand anyone as if you have been sleeping for ages and just woke up and trying to find your own place. You wont feel like going out of your jar although the breath you take will make you feel like drowning you in a deep ocean.

There will be some days

When you will think you made up your mind. You will feel such a relief when you think of your past and you will be proud of your victories. You will set yourself free, free to rest yourself first, early before you are ready to fly and embrace the sky again. You will feel the wind sometimes for and against you. Sometimes it will blow back of you to reach for the high and sometimes it will hit from front to make you fall but still you will seek for some new adventures which will return you as experience.

Of course there will be some friends

Who will change color like a chameleon, sometimes they will treat you they choose as they like and sometimes they will be selfish and doubleface to hurt. There will be some days you will be carried on the top of them and sometimes they will roll you to the ground and kick too. But just try to remember the bliss you have had with them.

For sure out of all these there will be some perfect progress

When you will feel you learnt a lot from your good and bad deeds. You will have a collection. A great collection what is made of your own experiences. Experiences will be your armor, shield, dress, mask etc. You will take off one and then wear the other whenever you desire to protect yourself, whenever you will need to disguise your inner thoughts to look so shallow or sometimes you will change your mask to give a sign you are ready for the new experiences.

But that is all you as

Your SELF will never ever change. You will be always cared and loved by the real ones whom you will never recognize. They will keep themself out of your world stage so that you stand on your own feet but they will be there for you to back up whenever you feel you lost your faith. TO BREATHE SOME COURAGE INTO YOU.
So come and land on my finger whenever you need.Sometimes silence even works when you feel you have an accompany. I cant be the dearest nor the sweetest but I could at least try to be the resting place for you to find everything what you exactly in need.
Near or far doesnt matter, whatever.Sincere people are for that in our lives.You are special, please keep that in your mind. And ....

*YoU aRe NoT aLoNe*