[Önemli bir not: Lütfen babanızın kıymetini bilin...]
Most of the time people are asking about my parents whether I resemble my mom or dad..Besides my foreign friends sometimes get curious when I tell I am muslim because muslim oriented women are supposed to wear hejab/scarf/eşarp to cover their hair as it is taken as sin..But it depends on person to person because Turkey isnt a strict religious country unlike Iran and we are not ruled by the religion although there are many bigots over here. Teens are corrupted, i just mean that teens bacame more and more far away from the religion itself because of the influence of western and european culture.. I can say that new generation has link between modernism and islam religion..
So here is the answer: I resemble my mom I think,because many people say so.. And I really hope that you guys like my new step father as he is too famous all over the world LOL.. I believe that he will get on well with me :D
Honestly I cant put my dad's picture as I dont have any in my mobile and he passed away 3 years ago.. I just wanna mention him as i really felt like.. Since my 11s my relationship with my dad began to be based on hatred... Dont ask why because there were many reasons which I cant tell as it is a long life story... He used to love me a lot because i was the youngest member of the family although i am 22 now and he always wanted me to have good education, succeed in anything I want.. Briefly he used to encourage me to do things whenever I feel weak enough to give up.. Although we didnt have good relations I never behaved him disrespectful.. He was the strongest authority at home and whenever I did something wrong to freak mom out all I did was to hide behind him LOL...
On the day he died I was home alone, things happened so suddenly that I was thinking it could be a joke.. Nobody let me know till midnight.. Just my eldest sister came home first to tell me the evil news and i felt so numb for a while, motionless as if something was broken in me and I burst into tears... It was the first time I lost someone close in my family..
When they heard, other family members began to came also neighbours and of course my friends too.. Tuğba, Ayşegül,Merve, Aysun, Gözde etc ( sorry guys if i forgot your names to add as I really dont remember much because of the shock) I am really grateful that you guys were with me on our sorrowful day..
Recently some teens really hate their parents enough to wish them not to exist.. My mom used to tell me that "even if you dont like your father, his shade is enough for you"... Till he passed away I didnt get this shade term by thinking what she meant... I am such a fool right?
Shade: she meant his presence, blessing and protection... I think dad concept is an umbrella element for kids to protect them from most of the things...
Never ever think that I am doing good without him... The first time when I understood that "shade" thing was like that;
I was applying for something
X: I need your information to fill this form
Me: okay
X: Name, surname?
Me: Beyza Kargın
X: Your father's name?
Me: Ahmet
X: What is your father's job?
Me: (dang) ... well he is not alive..
X: I am sorry for your loss, may god rest him in peace
Actually I learnt how to define a person who died, such as telling he is dead, he is not alive, he passed away and so on.. And it is really hard to admit because you think that you lack of something..But you keep living with that...
With friends: they sometimes like talking about their fathers and I just dont want to mention but there is always someone
to open up the topic.
X: how did your dad pass away?
Me: well ...
Y: wait! Is her dad is not alive? I didnt know sorry
Me: it is okay, no problem...
Some nights whenever I cry because of some reasons or whenever I lose my faith and courage I feel that he is with me somehow and consoles me that I should be strong to go on my way... That is what he always wanted from me.
I am inherited some features from him:
1. My height, he was such a tall man
2. My blood disgust, lol he used to faint when he saw blood and he would go pale whenever something bad happens..
3. He taught me how to play backgammon, we used to play everyday so that I improve myself that is why I can cheat with dices by throwing the number what I need :D so I play better than most of the female backgammon players :))))
R.I.P Ahmet Kargın
