Monday, March 4

Break All The Rules

That is what I used to do at my granny's LoL.
It is such a great feeling to swing your legs out of window. But I dont recommend it
for the kids who are underage.

I remember we had some important rules
But given promises were broken by time
You couldnt keep them at all and
I am not angry nor mad
I just feel nothing
but numb.




Basic Lyrics #4


Kauas Pois - Raappana
The second Finnish song that stuck in my head xD
I love this song because my best friend sang for me
To be honest I dont know what the lyrics mean and I didnt ask from her either
It reminds me of something exotic, could be a place with palm trees lol
In video the first thing that took my attention is that the singer always plays with the edge of his jacket


These Wounds Wont Seem To Heal

Ohh, sweet people ...
Are you aware of how much you have taken from me? 
Are you aware of how much I care?
Omg, past, past, past just leave me alone for a little while..
You will never, right? But you will stay  somewhere on the corner of my mind.
Yeah you will chase me till my last breath
with your all cruelity and merciless shadow.
But why?? Why? Because I am so weak?
I cant get rid of thinking and no solution.
I am afraid of being left all alone but at the same time I wanna be alone. So how to handle with that???
Nobody understands me.. Even not for once
and that feeling of being useless.. I have significance at all.
Is it me who isolates myself or the people who constantly push me away?  
I dont expect the world to understand me but I need only one person who wont judge me. But NO, nooo as the life sucks. People as well.
I hate being moody too.. It makes me feel like I am even faking.. I cant bear that damn shit.
Few hours ago I was glad and now gloomy and few minutes later I will be smiling.. Fff..
I hate myself more than anyone else on this planet so how am I expected to love people if I cannot love myself first???



Yeah I am not.. Because I couldnt reach to the point people wanted me so, everything has been measured with material these days.
If you have money then you are respected whoever or whatever you are.. Ridiculous.. It is nothing but ridiculous. What happened to virtues and values. Love? Honesty? Care? Hope? Tolerance? Aid? What happened? Almost no one left to keep those.. Even me, I cannot tolerate people, I cannot tolerate myself either.. Because whenever I try to do something I sink into my thoughts so deep that I am stuck there like a wheel stucks in the mud. Helpless, no one can find solution as long as I cannot find by myself.. Walls are coming over me and they give me no peace..
No peace at all...
I hate here
I hate there
I hate everywhere

Anyway thank you for the rant..
Night Night




I Cant Hold On

Goodmorning
It is raining right now and I dont wanna get up from the warm bed because I feel frozen.. But suddenly the weather reminded me of a winter time when I was around 9.. It would snow heavily and schools would be off so we would go out and play snowball but it would end up with burying someone into snow and run away homes. The roads would be empty because snow wouldnt let cars move here to there and great fog would cover everythere that I would get scared if a car comes and hits me. I feel like I can hear our screams even now, how cheerful it was and we were peaceful without life anxiety.. When I came back home, the feeling of my cheek's being pinkish :) mom would get angry with me but the home would always be warm to welcome and heat me.. I would love the feeling of wet drops that fall from my head.. It was the best innocence and childhood memories that one could ever have. There was no fake friends, no responsibilities, no grief and no sorrow but only silly childish dreams and nobody would be able to touch to ruin it because I was kid and I would strongly believe what I want by supporting my ideas even if they are ridiculous or meaningless. I wish I could go back in time and stay there forever..

Basic Lyrics #3


Come On Over - Christina Aguilera

I was 9 when I first listened to Christina
She was also a teen as it seems lol
I used to love its video and the dancers
Stair part in video is my favourite haha

Basic Lyrics #2


Rhythm Divine - Enrique Iglesias 

One of the oldest English single of him I guess
I dont remember but I used to love its video
It shakes and heats up my lood somehow
It was my alarm ringtone for 2 years when I was 17.