Alas !!!

P.S fuck you hell and back .. I hate you , because I just noticed that you removed your blog. You are so damn cruel to leave nothing behind for me..

Dare To Stay If You Have Nothing To Say

Maybe you have given up reading my blog a long time ago but you will come across some traces whenever you decide to read it back. So here I eternize, eternize everything.. Not only here, but also in my room with my own handwriting. This blog is nothing, comparing to the things I am writing in my own world. Many pages, many new fresh pages every single day and maybe you wont know, people wont know but I know.. I know by myself..

Remember the days when we were implying some stuff on our blogs? You dont even write anymore but ...
Yeah then this is for you.

Tornado

Morning,
These days I am trying to make up my mind.. Very important progress in my life and it might open up the doors of my wishes that I am trying to reach.. But I am also afraid of failing.. Besides I need to save some great amount within few days as I might not be able to take the chance because of it.. Work hard and harder. I dont have any other plan like plan B and C.. It is my fault to focus on only one thing but I need to do it, as I dont have any chance

Mummy Returns

Today I just came back to talk about few stuff..
Fist of all I need to mention that I am so damn busy these days that is why I dont have time to type even though I enjoy typing..

Life is weird, and it is hard to figure out people.. So I am always on alert to face what a man could turn out to be. All we are humans but still there lives an evil inside us that comes about at an unexpected time.

Some people play on my mind too much and I say aside that: is this the same person I met? I watch them with an open mouth, because they are full of surprises enough to let me down hundred times. Maybe I might be the fool one, giving chance and then chance and chance but nothing changes at all. For sure I am not gonna save the world, who cares?

By the way I met a sweet friend today. She is brave enough to overcome the things she was faced to. We humans get stronger after the long period of pain. Maturity comes with experiences. At least that is what I think so. Anyway she is a cool and helpful vampire and an immortal one :) I am also glad that I would guess what life would bring to me, some friends go and new ones get ready to open themself a good place.. So have a seat.

And I had my dad in my dream early in the morning.. It was very sad that I had to write a letter to my best friend. But she wasnt around so I had to throw it into the trash. I just dont wanna see it again.. I am suffering but I will find a way to survive somehow as I could succeed until today.

I remembered a sentence that dates back to my 16s, yeah almost 7 years ago..
"Dont die before I do."
I already eternized you.
Because everything written stays when the memories fade themself away by time..
A new pure morning..

Looking Through The Rough Glass

vocaroo.com/i/s0L31lnJhRDE

Hello, I know I havent typed for a long time but I am really busy these days as I am working.. Anyway I shared one of my records ^_^ I know it is crap but :D maybe I enjoy singing..

One Two Step

Hello..
I am very sorry that I havent written for a long time since I began to work.. I am fucking tired right now and an hour pater it is my birthday :3
Yeah I am ageing..
Anyway,
Bye for now.

I Miss You Dad

The saddest part is that there is no one next to me to share how I feel right now. Tears in my eyes and silent scream in my throat to gulp it down. No one, no one at all. Yeah I have many friends or family members but nobody would understand me at all.. Those friends who cry to me but whenever I need them they disappear.

I missed my dad.. There is a huge missing in my life that I could never fill since my childhood. Maybe it is his presence.. I missed him giving me the courage whenever I feel weak no matter what the matter is. 

Now I cant tell it to anyone. I cant because they will just say that "everything will be fine, dont be sad" but hell, they dont know how much it hurts.. How sorrowful I am.

I missed you dad. Whenever I drive  here to there, there to somewhere I rememember you. Whenever I play backgammon with someone I recall you taught me so and your experiences, the things you told about life, I know them by heart...

Just time doesnt let you go.
I was very mad at you, very immature and a rebel.. I could never know that we were given less time to spend.. I am regret, I am so damn regret because I decided to abandon you without even trying to listen to you just for once.. And now no one listens to me, like I did to you.. I understand you very well, I swear I understand you..

Time doesnt surround that broken heart to heal over. To cure, to compensate. It was broken enough and then shattered piece to piece.. Your funeral made my heart fall to pieces.. I lost balance, I lost my courage.. I lost my innocence.. I am so lost.. I cant find solution to my problems.. I cant share them with anyone..

I know that you would do your best to make me happier.. Because I felt them but I didnt make a sound, I knew it but I pretended.. See? How bad your daughter is.. I am so damn cruel.. I brought myself nothing but the pain at all.. Dad, I am so damned.. I am so alone.

I keep everything, your watch that you used to wear that I dont touch. You wouldnt let me play with it when I was a kid and when I became a teen you would ask me to set the time whenever it is a bit back or forward than the time of tv but this time I would refuse and ask you to do it by yourself..

I wish I could help now.. I keep your pictures that mom wanted to throw away, yeah I gathered them from all around and some of them from trash because they are now mine..

It doesnt mean mom never loved you.. Maybe she loved you the most..From time to time I recognize that she misses her lifetime partner who accompanied her while going yo to the vineyard.. She tries to take care of the only belonging you just left for us.. She made some men build a shelter on vineyard..

I screamed out when I saw the shelter because I am sure that you would get angry if you saw it because it prevents sunlight to come in but I am sure you are somehow glad that she does her best with the little money she has..

And now I cant continue, because ... Because my tears drop on the screen. I miss you dad, I really miss your presence in my life.. It has been almost 4 years. You were my wings to fly.. You were my biggest courage to lit fire.
I can feel you all around me.

Sky Is The Limit

Have a nice day fellas..

How are you doing?? Sorry, it is the first time I am asking it right??? I am so thoughtless but I am not self centered even though I write all about me.. Just they are my feelings that I share most of the time.

Today I am gonna rant about friendship.

First of all I have to admit that I make friends with fakers who are just some bitches and bastards indeed... I know I always complain but I have never seen such bullshit people in my life before. Yeah it is called experience but I am tired of experiencing the things with worthless people at all..

Some people dont know about appreciation. I dont expect too much but at least a little word "thank you" would be fine and kind to tell others if they do something good for you.

Some people do not even care your existence until they need in something you might provide them. Fuck this materialistic world.. Everything gains value with money in people's grace. What happened to love, respect, loyality and honesty ??  Die bitches. Nothing could worth to the simple smile of a person.. Money wouldnt buy it at all..

GET OUT right now then as I dont need such people who fake to tell me s/he misses/loves me after all not keeping in touch for a long time.. Lmfao and I still care all about those people by supposing them they are still my friends while they are not giving a shit.. Probably I showed so much care that it only flew their ass out and made them think they are something priceless..

So no mercy.. Cross the bacteria out! I cant sicken myself anymore for the sake of wicked people who act like they are my friends. Sorry but those humans even dont mean anything to me ha.. Anyway.. I have a life to carry on and no time for those.. Fuck you assholes..

Bye for now.

Crazeeeeee

Holaaaa 

It was such a fucking crazy day and I enjoyed a lot.. Early in the morning I just drove to my vineyard.. Far from the madding crowd you know ;) Silence and peace and of course nature but well yeah it didnt take so long to be in peace because my sister and kids came. But never mind them. I planted some flowers and we had some kind of family breakfast ^_^ briefly it was great.. Hell I put on weight again so I need to do something.. Yeah it is because of stress definately, because I eat whatever fuck I find :DDD I will go on a strict diet obviously. In the afternoon I had to go my bro in law's office as I had some stuff to do. There is this job on my mind but hope that I am qualified enough to get it because I need it so much to save my life. Eventually I wont need to take this stupid exam if I could get that job.. Whuuu.. Wish me luck..By the way I like my bro in law's new office lol as I really enjoy there and I love the atmosphere..
You will get why I like there when I am able to add the picture soon..

And all of these.. My bro in law gave me a lift back to vineyard.My eldest sister also came. So my niece Ebrar was here too.. She is the cutest pain in the neck lmfao.. I love her so much.. That kid makes me back to life and laugh with her little heart at all..

And of course it rained. Unavoidable weather but what it causes is beautiful :) Yea it has been for a long time that I havent seen rainbow all around.
Anyway.. Now need to go..

Tomorrow's A Mystery

Aren’t you somethin’ to admire
Sen hayran olunmayacak bir şey misin
Cause your shine is somethin’ like a mirror
Çünkü tıpkı bir ayna gibi parıldıyorsun
And I can’t help but notice
Kendime engel olamıyorum ama dikkat ediyorum
You reflect in this heart of mine
Yüreğime aksediyorsun
If you ever feel alone and
Eğer yalnız hissedersen ve
The glare makes me hard to find
Parıltın beni bulunması zor yapar
Just know that I’m always
Şunu bil ki ben her zaman
Parallel on the other side
Seninle aynı yolda olacağım

Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
Çünkü biz el eleyken ve duyguluyken
I can tell you there’s no place we couldn’t go
Sana gidemeyeceğimiz bir yer olamayacağını söylerim
Just put your hand on the past
Sadece ellerini geçmişe uzat
I’m here tryin’ to pull you through
Sana yardımcı olmaya çalışıyorum
You just gotta be strong
Yalnızca güçlü olmalısın

Cause I don’t wanna lose you now
Çünkü seni şimdi kaybetmek istemiyorum
I’m lookin’ right at the other half of me
Tam olarak diğer yarıma bakıyorum
The biggest scene is set in my heart
En büyük manzara yüreğime kurulu
There’s a space, but now you’re home
Bir boşluk var ama şimdi evindesin
Show me how to fight for now
Şu an için nasıl savaşılacağını göster bana
And I’ll tell you, baby, it was easy
Ve sana anlatacağım bebeğim, bu kopay
Comin’ back into you once I figured it out
Anladım ki sana geliyorum
You were right here all along
Sen hep buralardaydın
It’s like you’re my mirror
Aynam gibisin
My mirror staring back at me
Bana geri bakan aynam
I couldn’t get any bigger
Daha büyüğünü alamazdım
With anyone else beside me
Arkamda başka biriyle
And now it’s clear as this promise
Ve şimdi bu söz kadar temiz
That we’re making
Bu iki yansımayı
Two reflections into one
Tek yapıyoruz
Cause it’s like you’re my mirror
Çünkü aynam gibisin
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me
Bana geri bakan aynam, geri bakan aynam

Aren’t you somethin’, an original
Sen özgün değil misin
Cause it doesn’t seem really as simple
Çünkü öyle basit görünmüyorsun
And I can’t help but stare, cause
Ve sana bakmaktan kendimi alamıyorum, çünkü
I see truth somewhere in your eyes
Gözlerinde bir yerde gerçeği görüyorum
I can’t ever change without you
Sensiz değiştiremiyorum
You reflect me, I love that about you
Beni yansıtıyorsun, bunu seviyorum
And if I could, I
Ve keşke, ben
Would look at us all the time
hep bize bakabilsem

Yesterday is history
Dün mazidir
Tomorrow’s a mystery
Yarın bir gizem
I can see you lookin’ back at me
Bana geri baktığını görüyorum
Keep your eyes on me
Gözlerini üzerimde tut
Baby, keep your eyes on me
Bebeğim, gözlerini üzerimde tut

You are, you are the love of my life
Sen, sen hayatımın aşkısın

Baby, you’re the inspiration for this precious song
Bebeğim sen bu şarkı için ilham kaynağısın
And I just wanna see your face light up since you put me on
Ve benimle olduğundan beri yüzünün ışıldamasını istiyorum
So now I say goodbye to the old me, it’s already gone
Öyleyse şimdi “eski ben”e elveda diyorum, o çoktan gitti
And I can’t wait wait wait wait wait to get you home
Ve seni eve götürmeyi bekleyemiyorum, bekleyemiyorum
Just to let you know, you are
Sana sadece demek istiyorum ki sen,

Girl you’re my reflection, all I see is you
Benim yansımamsın güzelim, tek gördüğüm sensin
My reflection, in everything I do
Yansımam, yaptığım her şeyde
You’re my reflection and all I see is you
Benim yansımamsın güzelim, tek gördüğüm sensin
My reflection, in everything I do
Yansımam, yaptığım her şeyde

Say It Loud

Hello guys,
Omg :((((((((((((((

Why there are these people to make me hate life at all? I am really bored.. I feel I can go back to my bad times because I became wicked to break 2 friends' hearts and I feel fucking proud of it LMFAO.. I know it is not true but I am pissed off enough.

One of them just end up with telling me the dates she is involved without asking how the fuck I am... So I burst out by saying I dont really wanna listen, thanx for asking I am fine too.. She told me I am being mean and what I describe is me after all I told her she is self centered.. Lmfao, at least I say hello and ask how people are instead of ending up with spreading my negative mood. So I got angry and removed her from facebook like she deserved and yeah she was stalking at me so much these days that pissed me off as well. Please be kind at least to say "Hi, how are you?" . My God, do I expect too much  from people? :( I have friends who lack of greeting me.. Is it too much? Come on, please do say that fucking HI before telling all about your life at all..

And the other friend just remembers me whenever she doesnt have someone to go out with.. Ohh  fuck, I dont really care.. I told her I am gonna stay home today and obviously she got offended by saying " all I wanted to meet you.." yeah yeah yeah as if you care my fucking ass blehhh..

Badass

Now I understand how shit people could turn out to be..Because they are not the same people who I used to know.. So I dont give a fuck about it then.. Care the one who cares you.. Love the one who loves you. Be with the one who is with you.

Now maybe it is enough to complain ha?

Na naaa...
Helloooo
You dont remember me
But I will remember you.

All The Shit I Captured

Hello fellas..
Today I took few pictures.. Few? Maybe many lol.. So I am gonna share them

I CAN BE YOUR SERIAL KILLER

P.S.I took this freak one few nights ago though..One of my psycho gaze.. I dont know but most of the time I like bad quality pictures more hahah..

 Dude !

Pure morning

ALL IS WELL 

until I get up from the bed

BECAUSE

EVERY SINGLE DAY I AM IN TROUBLE 

WITH MY HAIRRRRR

When a girl loves ...

It is extraordinary at all

To rain or not to rain

I was about to go out early before it began to rain at all but doesnt matter I went out.

Make me immortal with a kiss [Just singing]

Calm down it is gonna be a good day.

For Coco

He liked this one more.

Such a good friend who knows me since I was 16.

Just Noticed This!!!!

THANK YOU TEAM YOUREPLY

Manuel, Sebastian 

For sharing my picture on homepage

of the site. Such an amazing gift.

Hey, Silly ...

IT FEELS LIKE THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD

headache but nothing more at all

DO YOUR BEST SUCKER !

not this time 

UNA HISTORIA TROLL

I know you guys love me trolling ^_^

LOVE STONED 

brick here, brick there.. Brick everywhere

AWW LITTUL CAT

Here my signature is

PARTYYYYY????

rock this joint then

smelling like booze

Leave Me Alone

When you dont love me ...
I thought everything's getting better
For us, I even said a little bit prayer,
I have been dreaming for decades.
So I just struggled and struggled and struggled. What for? For something
Shit that I didnt deserve. I didnt at all
Tears on my face, drip drop, drip drop
Sliding silently down from my neck.
Dont you see it is happening again.
You push me out of your life slowly
I am not time's fool yet I recognize
Then why are still you haunting me?
You just killed me hundred times
And want to make sure I am dead
Get out my head and dont suffer me.
I know, you cant do that, because
I have something you want to take
But you cant take me from myself.
Nay no way, I will tear this soul out
But I will never give up on surviving.
Just get out !!!

Tell Me All The Stories

Goodmorning...
Sorry for not being able to write some stuff as I attended one of my friend's wedding for about 2 days. It wasnt such a "wowowow" celebration but well made me think how could the organization be if I was gonna marry. Some stuff made me laugh and some stuff made me a bit angry but I am glad that eventually she could marry.

OMG I am very busy that I still have 5 more wedding to join.I guess half of the population of the world will be married in this summer but I still dont have a significant other or someone to date. Probably I will be a single old lady ^_^

I think I learnt how to look like a ghost in the picts xD

My sister on the right and my niece with scarf on left

I and my sister dont look alike right?

Lmfao, we enjoyed a lot.. Even though the atmosphere was boring and it was very crowded and hot.. Never mind we found some ways to enjoy.. And sorry guys there is no pict of bride and groom because I didnt have change to take pict :D my friend was busy with guests and she danced whole through the night.

That look of are you ready to rock this wedding? 

Ego Mihimet Sum Semper Proximus

I dont want to know anyone well enough to recognize that they lie.

Goodnight, 

I am suffering because of massive headache right now but I dont really care as it doesnt give me much pain as much as people give. 

Such a good moral for me: never ever be the first one to ask a guy if he would like to date unless he asks you at all.. Well it didnt break my courage but just I wont put myself in a position of a fool next time. I am not angry, just refusals also become good experiences.. Anyway.

Ofc not like that :D

There are many things to tell indeed but few words arent enough to express what exactly this shit is.. Maybe you read my mind and agree with me.

Actually I feel damn fool but yeah this time I am the one guilty. Because I attract all of the crazy people like a magnet. I have such almighty friends lmfao. They are unique in the category of stabbing me in the back. Competition is a good thing but competing each other to give me harm? Naaa kids, it is not good. I cannot wait for the one who is gonna be the next.

These days I am thinking about dyeing my hair :) some fair strings or auburn? I dont know. All I know is that I dont look as old as I am so I need to do something about it. Because I am tired of some people's think that I am around 17s. Gosh..

Life is fucking but anyway..

5 words

Fuck, fucked, fucking, fucken, fuckers

Yeah that is me.

Bye

It Is About Time To Leave

My wounds cry for the grave
My soul cries for deliverance
Will I be denied? Christ !!!
Tourniquet, my suicide.

It Feels Like The End

Yeah, this time it is all fucked up. I am tired, really tired.. It crossed the line.. Fuck that damn shit, same thing again and again.. Fuck my trust issues.. Fuck everyone.. Fuck this  system top to bottom.. Yeah put the blame on me while the real fuckers are all around.. Fuck you old creepy men.. What the hell do you want from girls around 20s while you are at the age of my dad ha? You womanizer mother fucker pedophiles, hungry wolves.. Hope all of you die, hope all of you get raped you damn bullshits.. Hope you dont ever exist because you dont deserve any place here on earth.. Fuck this world as well.. Because there is no one nice, everyone is seeking for their own benefits.. Liars, fakers, pedophiles, racists... Fuck all of you...

The more I witness that shit the less I want to live at all.. So God, either take me or just give these idiots some brain.. Well my first wish is more logical so hope I die early before being witness to people's shit more..

Fuck all of you stupids

Fuck all of you bastards

Fuck all of you sons of bitches

Bye

Connotation Of Assumption ♥

 Which is worse, failing or not trying? 

Now I am pretty sure that you are part of me. Because stars whispered every night in my ears that I am your destiny and it became a matter between us.. You are promised gift to me and I am still struggling to crush your stone heart. Because it is mine, it will always be mine. So I will run like tides, come and go, go and come until I break that stone by the seaside. I wont get tired, I wont get bored, I wont give up.

 Which is worse, when a good friend moves away or when you lose the touch with a good friend who lives right near you? 

You are the one I have always wanted, your warmth, your breath, your eyes, your smile, your everything. You kill the devil in me and make me a good person when I am about to set a huge fire. Maybe I am helpless, I cant think no more because it is like the best dream whenever I have few seconds with you but you dont recognize, it really doesnt matter because you will already be in my arms when you completely recognize :)

 Which is worse, putting trust on everything or not being able to trust anyone? 

I sometimes hate you because I just suffer, as you have the biggest pride but mostly I love you and I admit then remind it to myself... I tried so hard not to fall for you because I knew the consequences but that is a heart matter, I cant help, it wouldnt listen to me and I dont expect anything at all. I can live, I can breathe as long as I feel your presence, it is the only thing I need.

 Which is worse, not being loved or not being trusted by someone who do you care? 

And whenever your soft stare comes, it stays here for a long time, I love that feeling. I am me, a better person. It hurts me if you are hurt and I know people hurt you constantly without thinking you have a heart.So should I be sad or happy because whenever you are hurt, you just remember me.. I dont know if you consider me the sibling of pain but I am everything what you see and I am nothing when you dont see..

Which is worse, just being quiet or being argumentative all the time?

I know you love me too but you always deny, because you are scared and your pride just takes all over you. It is when you become a painful knot in my throat. A sudden scream wants to come out with my sincere tears that washes my face away " I LOVE YOU HELL AND BACK " but it only turns into voiceless whisper when it reaches my lips from my heart. I am more afraid because I lose you in your own depth whenever I am nailing to find you.

 Which is worse, living a lie or being an outcast? 

I swear to God, you love me. You really love me. And you lie to me, you lie to yourself, you lie..You deny us. The uttered sentences dont matter as I believe what I am made to feel. So you love me to death that is how I feel, that is how you make me feel. I know we are like the forbidden fruits to each other because you are there far away, I cant reach, I cant hold, I cant breathe you in me. But this soul still mourns over you, still desires you, still screams out your name. But I cant tell it loud as you stamp my lips everytime. Then you are my biggest silence and my name is on your tongue tip, I swear I know. We hold on to the sweet memories, You cry at nights without me and deep inside, you bury yourself into your own core slowly and I feel like I hear you whenever your precious tears run like river.. They run into me and intermingle with my soul. My lips tremble and push me to say " I love you so hard " but whenever I intend, my tongue gets numb behind my lips.. Because I dont know, maybe I am waiting for the right time. Maybe you are right, I am too coward.

 Which is worse, to be hated or to be forgotten? 

Then someday if you need to pick one of these, to hate or to forget, just hate me as much as you can but please dont ever forget, just keep me somewhere in your heart even if you might give me the little place over there. Because there is nothing would hurt and then kill me but this forgetting matter. Feel me in every breath you take in, I will be watching over you from far and I promise you that no matter whatever happens I will never ever get over you..

And here you touch my weekest spot again whenever I feel stone cold. I cant cool this heart off as long as you dont set me free.. I sobbed again in my bed, I never wished so much like that to die. My existence light got so dim and there was no one with me except my love and my ocean tears.. I dont wanna fight over the simple things so I hold myself back.. Forgive me!!
Just know that ....
Ich kann nicht ohne dich leben :'(
Love you ♥

No, You Love Me But I Mean Nothing At All To You

Agora Meyhanesi

Sana bu satırları Bir sonbahar gecesinin Felç olmuş köşesinden yazıyorum. Beşyüz mumluk ampullerin karanlığında Saatlerdir, boşalan kadehlere Şarkılarını dolduruyorum, Tabağımdaki her zeytin tanesine Simsiyah bakışlarını koyuyorum* Ve, kaldırıp kadehimi Bu rezilcesine yaşamların şerefine içiyorum: Burası Agora Meyhanesi Burda yaşar aşkların en madarası Ve en şahanesi Burda saçların her teline Bir galon içilir Sen, bu sekiz köşeli meyhaneyi bilmezsin Bu sekiz köşeli meyhane seni bilir. Burası Agora Meyhanesi Burası arzularını yitirmiş insanların dünyası. Şimdi içimde sokak fenerlerinin yalnızlığı Boşalan ellerimde Kahreden bir hafiflik. Bu akşam Umutlarımı meze yapıp içiyorsam Elimde değil. Bu da bir nevi namuslu serserilik. Dışarıda hafiften bir yağmur var Bu gece benim gecem Kadehlerde alaim-i semaların raksettiği, Gönlümde bütün dertlerin Hora teptiği gece bu Camlara vuran her damlada Seni hatırlıyorum Ve sana susuzluğumu... Birazdan plaklarda şarkılar susar, Kadehler boşalır, Umutlar tükenir Mezeler biter Biraz sonra Bir mavi ay doğar tepelerden Bu sarhoş şehrin üstüne, Birazdan bu yağmur da diner. Sen bakma benim böyle delice efkarlandığıma, Mendilimdeki o kızıl lekeye de boşver Yarın gelir çamaşırcı kadın Herşeyden habersiz onu da yıkar; Sen mes'ut ol yeter ki Ben olmasam ne çıkar. Dedim ya: Burası Agora Meyhanesi Bir tek iyiliğin tüm kötülüklere Meydan okuduğu yer Burası Agora Meyhanesi, Burası kan tüküren Mes'ut insanların dünyası...

I Am So Done , Fuck You

Hello again...

I am pissed off so much, maybe I am fucking done this time.. I am so done.
One of that moment when I totally hate damn people and myself.. So I am writing these to screw and swear at you some mother fuckers who try to be in my life..

Why am I fucking always on procrastination? 

Damn bitches.. Fuck you as you get benefit from me for only whenever you need me at all.. Yeah, your little asshole son needed an narration for his English project homework so I was the one who came to your mind first right? Where the fuck have you been for a long time whenever I needed one of my cousin to talk? Or have you ever called me to keep in touch? No, people are so damn for good days only. They are always with me whenever I am glad but whenever I need someone to cry they just get lost. Bitch I dont need you then, go to the hell and suck my balls.

Here is one another asshole sucker bitch who just says me "hello" whenever she has some stories to tell.. Yeah ofc she picks me because nobody can bear your fucking damn spoiled ass right? You dont even ask how I am but just end up with telling all of the stuff about you.. I have never seen such a selfish, self centered  whore like you indeed.. Yeah I tell these here because if I told all of these to you then you would be more fucking than a shattered mirror, you pathetic fragile.

There is this another friend that I am ashamed to call her "my friend".. Fuck you and your constant lies at all as you benefit from me and take all the advantages because I am known on some sites.. Go die away from me. And another guy whom I used to like.. You also try to get the benefit at all..Yeah I might act the fool but I am never.. Fuck you top to bottom, earth to space.. How idiot you guys are.. You cant let me down at all, I dont need you and your lies to keep me busy all around as I am not a kid.

Why? Why me?

Mother fucking asshole sucking retards. So fuck the hell off, I dont even want your presence from 1km away.. Fuck you cunts and dickheaded pigs.. You are a birth error.. You are the biggest mistake.. Fuck your genes and chromosomes. Pity the mother to have a shit like you. I am sure she wouldnt give birth if she knew what you are gonna turn into..

I am fucking done, that is enough.. Thanx for teaching me again that;

Trust no one...

For God's Sake

Hello today is April 1st

So April Fools, I dont know who the hell found it but I had the worst joke of my life today.. My ears omg, I cannot even hold my head stable so I am gonna sleep soon as I cannot bear this bullshit pain but glad that I got rid of stupid pranks.. It doesnt worth though.. Health is the most blessed gift that we are given.. I get it these days as this is the 4th time I went to see a doctor less than a week.. Besides I will see him again on thursday :/ hope that it will be the last time I see him.. Anyway my head is banging right now.. Triple massive headaches from each sides are making me feel like fainting all over here.. So have a good time and prank behalf of me as I dont have any power to laugh or play trick on someone due to the pain.

Bye Bye

My Strong Desire To Write

Do you ever miss me now?
Like the dept of hell, I miss you
And the days of cheer and bliss
I dont know how could we just
Waste and those days are gone.
Damn we were always in trouble
But you were always the smile
On my face that I long for now.
All gone by leaving some traces
Like wrinkles and simple sadness
Time washed the things all away
And we became strangers at all.
Can you feel me in your heart?
Just for once, once for a lifetime.
Is this the thing we're meant to be
Cruel fate made us fall apart
While we were trying to hold tight
Now you are there and I am here
Your presence lingers all around
In my chamber, in mind and heart
How to let you go? I dont know
I swear, I really dont know anything
Since the day you decided to go
So run away as much as you can
Climb up the mountains,pass deserts
Cross the rivers and oceans and go
If you think it is the best thing to do
And take back whatever you gave
As the pure loving hearts never care
Whatever they have been once given
Since the beloved giver of all those
Becomes more stanger than a stranger
Even the body burns and heart desires.
When you lit candles of anger and revenge
Sparkle and sparkle and fire and flame
There is no other way to blow it off
No matter how hard and strong you try
No matter how much you just rush
As you know that it only turns trash
And there will be nothing left but ash

Earwick Is Wicked

Hello guys

Sorry I havent been able to post anything yesterday as I was terrible.. I mean my ear..I have swimmers ear so I have earwick and some cottons stuff in my ear for about 3 days which prevents me to hear.. The pain in my ear spreads to my head eye neck and chin which sucks so bad that I can hardly open my mouth to eat some stuff.. Anyways I am gonna have rest.. Take care..

That Somebody Is Me

Somebody wants you
Somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you
Every single night
....
Somebody hopes someday you will see
That somebody is me...
You will always be in my life
Even if I am not in your life.

I dont really know the reason why is that love matters are that much complicated and painful. You always like someone but s/he doesnt like you back or they ask your friends to date.. Omg it just kills :(

I feel fool. So damn fucking fool.. Because I still expect few things even though I know the consequences bleh..

My relationship with my friends also suck.. I think I feel like going back to deep inside of me and lock myself there.. It is always the same..

I stole it from M's whatsapp.. And I am not deeply sorry for stealing because I liked it and I dont think you will mind right? if you are reading my blog. It is the same for me.. I am being ignored and forgotten... I dont care though. Maybe the fast start madr us tired so we are slowing it down.. I dont know.. I am just mad.. Because anything goes right as I wish it to be.Anyway I will be okay somehow and fix the things on my mind.. It is up to you  to help or not.. I just want to handle with this mess at all.. It is bullying my mind and of course my real life as well.. 

Terrifying

Disaster

Wreckage

I need to catch my life from somewhere.. Tsss but I am cooling myself off because being warm and sweet dont work on people most of the time.. Stone cold, it is one of my feature :) I am already that way as it is not that hard for me to act distanced if I really want.. Anyway..

Night Night

My Heart Is Refusing Me

Hello guys.. 

One of the songs I used to like.

Omg I think I fell inlove at first sight 

even though I am not still sure but lololol

I sensed the butterflies in my tummy.

But but but it can also be temporary

feeling at all.. Omg I always pick

some inpossible type of people

why? why does it have to

be such like that shit

ha??  But he made me feel 

like singing "I have been waiting 

for someone like you" heheh

but for sure tomorrow I will feel fine 

and get over that kind of feeling.

I dont worry that much haha

Anyway. I had such a great

day as well.. I was with

one of my friend

whole day.

He is very sweet 

and a very kind friend

Ohh he is more than gentleman

We also studied English in a way

He needed someone to check his essays 

so he brought them with him lolol.

But it was really pleasure of me

I should go now. Bye bye.

Hugs and kisses.

Rehab

Hi fellas...

Today I just made some decisions. It was hard because it was a total complexion.. I need a break I guess but whatsoever as nobody really cares the things except I do. So for few days I am busy with life planning bleh.. With who? Why? Where and what.. That is just my life like a disease following me behind.. 

Damn there needs to be something I should believe in and then it will never be that impossible to do anything at all. So I am going to find that reason to make me hold on the things I shouldnt give up on otherwise I will be so lost and insensitive.. Nobody cares it as well. But I do fucking care.. 

I cant be captivated anymore. I cant pretend nor I cant give out fake feelings.. I am me then who are you? Just tell me do I really know you? 

Me So Hot Man

Hi guys..

Actually I wanna add some pictures but this stupid bullshit gives error somehow. Maybe I can add later.. These days I am very bored and pissed off but somehow happy. Dont know but something gives me peace and cheer.. Now I am drinking latte so as not to fall asleep but fuck that shit as I feel sleepy more than usual :O I should have completed two topics in maths but well I am just hanging around on this blogger and writing some stuff to send my friends.. Anyway.. 

Night Night..

Mind Controller

Goodnight..
I am very confused right now.. These days the amount of my confusion just increased and I cannot make few things sure in my mind. There is always something that makes me suspicious about the things.. I wish I wasnt that skeptic..

My skepticism began when I was 18 years old I guess.. But I really dont know how it began. It made me lost many things. Seriously I have trust issues for few years.. Anyway

Today is the 4th day that I quit one of my habits. I will bear somehow hehe.. Few more months then it will be great but I dont think it will be easy for me to get rid of completely.

By the way some of the stupid cats are doing something pervert under my window LOL. You horny bitches, go find another place...
Enough for today as I dont wanna make myself tired more.. Night Night

The Color, Black

Goodnight..
Actually I feel depressed because I am thinking over my life so bad.. The reason of this bad mood is one of my friend. Omg she is going to marry in june.

My all friends are getting married.. 
It gives me some pressure because I dont even have someone on my mind.. Yeah many suitors but I cant fall inlove or something.. Maybe I am terribly hurt.

I pick all the assholes...
Whenever I try to like someone I recognize he is an another jerk. Cmooonn there are billions of men one this earth and isnt there any true one for me? But even if I found I would not be able to date either.

I have trust issues...
I am really sorry but I cant stop it.. Maybe it will make me the hardest girlfriend ever until he makes me convinced enough to trust him completely.

I think I love someone...
But I dont dare to tell that person at all because I will be refused, I know.. It hurts me everyday to keep inside but I dont wamna feel regret after my confession. So.it is better to keep inside. Anyway..

What The Fuck With This Lottery

I AM NOT DONE YET

Lets make it in English please. Ssshhhh dont make noise during translation process LOL.

I am just kidding yo sugga butts. It reminded me of Ghetto Butt lol.. One of my friend calls me like that Rofl.

[I confess that I am double faced !!!

One of my side is; warm, sweet/cute , sincere, cheerful... My other side is; cold, sulking, ignoring, unhappy.

It depends absolutely on you which side of my face to see and you really deserve whichever one you see.]

WHERE IS MY RAID?

Omg, there should have been such a sign KEEP OUT [skull] he is more sticky than a tub of glue. If I glued the broken things with him I swear they would never fall into pieces again.One more thing that I hate is persistent people.. Why dont you just shut up and go kill yourself somewhere far away instead of bothering me? Hey guys is there any solution to get rid of such people??? please contact me to help.

SMARTASS

Maybe I am the worst Rubiks Cupe player. I could never make it, so does it show how dumbass I am? But instead I would tear it into pieces and then combine the pieces back :D yeah man, who has that much time to make it.. :P I dont even bother..

DARKNESS

Is not something I get scared of.. People are scarier than the darkness itself anyways. My mind is never free whenever I go to the bed. I just think few hours and that keep me wide awake instead of falling asleep like normal people.. I sleep less than 4 hours everyday which is troublesome and the worst thing is that waiting for falling asleep by myself. Fuck the insomnia..

WHAT THE FUCK, FUCK OFF, FUCKED UP, FUCKERS

It is true in a way that I use fuck word a lot in english but I never swear in my mother tongue at all.. By the way my 5th favourite word is not bacon but it was supposed to  be  somehing like fuck again.. Oh maybe fucken at all :D I really dont know, I just love this word and it makes me funnier most of the time [that is what I believe] lololol..

DEDICATED TO THOSE

Who treat me like a bitch

Who stab me in the back

Who are fake with me

Who try to give harm to me

Who never respects my opinions

Who dont like me

Who lie to me

etc etc ...

I dont give a fuck, I dont really care either, motherfuckers [opps I already uttered two sentence that has fuck]. For the God's sake get the fuck away from my life as I am already with the people who accept me as the way I am. I dont need to prove myself because I really know what I want, what I have and what am I myself.. I dont worry because it wouldnt make me valueless if you didnt care me. I dont need many friends, I need friends with the best quality and I have.. I really have those people in my life.. Thank you guys for being with me. I love you to the hell and back ♥ 

Now I am seriously done for today... 

Bye bye

How Could I've Burned Paradise

I WANTED TO BEGIN WITH THIS!

Sometimes the things might go so wrong that is out of your control and expectation. Dont worry I am not a fan of Yolo. Just everything will be fine so enjoy the moments that you are given. Life is not always something depressing, there is happiness in it even if it is a little bit. The importance is that you need to find that happiness by yourself, it might be in little things or hiding in you either, just you have to know how and where to seek.

BESIDES

My biggest phobia is the death of people who I really love and care. It makes me damn upset desperate. I cry inside and my body gets locked. But death is a part of nature. Someday all living creatures will taste the death right? I mean there is no assurance like you will die and I will watch you, of course it might be me as well. Lets hope God to give us not long lasting but the happiest life that we could ever have with the most beautiful memories. I cant promise for the afterlife, who goes hell or who goes heaven.

I KNOW

This page is gonna be so random and disorganized but last night I was like bubbles on the left and N looks like blossom because she enjoys the life more than us and you M are the buttercup, dripping all around [omg just for a while I thought something pervy lol] our only one day joy in Split at your home hahaha.

BY THE WAY NICE PLACE

For schiki miki. I just dont want to imagine the rest after all covering the white sheets all around and lol ofc turning off the lights so that people do not watch us lololol. I know it is creepy or crazy but lol I wouldnt want to be on breaking Greek news.. 

CUTE BUT BLEHHH

Better not to be animals while trying to kiss but lol that schiki miki bed  would be the most comfortable place for them I guess haha

I know right.

MY SECRET RELATIONSHIP

With maths of course. I am not too much in trouble but somehow the maths is a real bullshit you know. All I think is that gentle but old pervert men on formspring who chase me.. They are 40+ and I am only 23. If I just gave chance by smoothing the things they would suddenly end up flirting. Oh my gosh, man I know enough maths to calculate that you are at the age of my father. You wrinkled dicks.. Yeah I know I will get older as well but at least I wouldnt be much into people who are more than 20 years old younger than me. Sick pedophiles.

I AM AN ARCHER

Of course I am not doing the same shit Cupid does lol. I just try to protect my clan as they need me even if I am sometimes clumsy.. Yeah I hit so bad but sometimes I arrow my own clan members by mistake too. Thank God  they dont die. I kiss and apologize for the injures I give and they forgive.. Me love you a lot ♥ 

LIFE IS

Full of competition and traps. But it is worth to race with someone who would take me forward, who would improve me by time at all. Sometimes they will become leader to us and sometimes they will follow us. That is how it goes.

JERKS

Will always be all around us somehow. You know that some people always joke and play with the feelings of others without thinking how offensive it is. But whenever you do the same they get angry and storm you out.. Well so what goes around comes back around LOL

LOOKING THROUGH THE MIRROR GLASS

Is the best way to judge and make decisions. If you have blunt and honest friends then they are the best glasses one would ever have because they will share their brave opinions to lighten your path whenever you feel you are in damn darkness.

AND I ADMIT THAT I AM A THIEF

Because I stole this picture from M's profile LOL and I am not fucking regret. Most of the time we like the same things and collect :* I am really glad that you have such collection.. This sparkling Europe map is wondersome. I see where you guys are and we are both close on map but also that far. Omg :( I should create such a chance to visit all of you.. But I dont lose my hope :) we will meet somehow :* and I have such a big collection of hearts.. Yeah my friends give me their hearts and I give them mine ^^

SUCH LIKE THIS

Of course I cannot force anyone because all kinds of love comes about mutually. You give and you take.. It is like exchange. Sometimes one sided but the perfect and happiest one is both sided. Love doesnt have to be only for your significant other, maybe you should love your friends as well..

SOMETIMES LIKE A BOSS

Bawsss it, bawssss it. Yeah, I have nothing to do if I am crazy. For sure I am going to use these ecperiences that I learn by living. But hope that I never involve in illegal stuff LOL.

SOMETIMES LITTLE AND LONELY

No matter how old I am. Humans can never survive without affection, care, interest etc. I keep my expectations low so as not to feel badly disappointed at all.. But still I always need someone to care me. Most of the time I seek these in my friends :)

LOYALITY

Is the most important thing we need. One of the mainstones of the life that comes after trust. If stab me in the back I would stab you in the arse and I wouldnt mind no matter how much dirty it gets. Sorry but that is one feature of my complete personality. Actually I am not keen on revenge but when I am determined then run away because I could be one's best nightmare. Hard life just taught me this. I am sorry in advance.

MY HEART IS FULL AND MY DOORS ARE ALWAYS OPEN

You can come anytime you want as long as you are kind and good to me. Because I love sweet things and I would do my best to please whoever I care about. Besides I love hugging people. But of course not strangers, just the ones I care lol..

IT WAS BETTER IF I DIDNT KNOW

Causalities... Some people in my life really want to be the best scandal ever by doing surprising things on purpose.. I can show them with my mark finger and count with the other fingers but they dont really worth. Just leave me a little bit peace of mind at all.  To take attention you put yourself in a fool position, for your information..

Anyways.. I am done right now.. Maybe I might add few more to my next entry.

Enjoy your day.