Wednesday, January 2

I Can Love You More Than They Hate

You have always been laughed at
Unattached in all you do
In the end descending into the rain,
“My favorite umbrella has been blown away” you say
With appreciation for your efforts,
I’ve been treading upon that field
As always you are a disliked person
People keeping their distance without reason
Even though you’ve put in much effort
Thinking “It must be for some reason or another”
You’re at a loss and have fallen into sadness
So it’s fine to use my voice!
Not able to be understood by humans,
A painful, terrible voice
Even if it’s called such things
I’ll surely become your strength
So let me sing and you’ll see
Yes, let me sing your very own words
Compose them and join them together
I’ll cry out those words and feelings
Lay out your ideals
I won’t let anyone touch those feelings
And then the voice of the Odds & Ends will ring out
Clumsily connecting the truth together
Raising a big voice with all my might
Together we thought of so many words to say, haven’t we?
And yet, right now a single one doesn’t come to mind
But still everything is understood
“I see, surely this is a dream. Never waking up, coming to know you, that kind of dream.”
The Odds & Ends keeping a smiling face like that
No matter how much I call out, it still won’t move
At your desired conclusion, crying and screaming
It’s a lie right? It’s not true!
Yes, cry and scream
“I’m powerless”
I could not rescue even a single neglected item
Those feeling, through your tears,
Stain your cheeks one by one
At that time,
The world will change that color in a grand way
Sadness and joy
All will be felt together as one
When I begin to sing
The world will once again go around for your sake
That voice entrusted with your intentions
Right now those feelings will ring out

Call Me When You Are Sober

I have been willing to type for few days but I was again haunted by laziness and there are still many things on my mind to worry me.
Ohh why?? Tell me why??
 It is so fucking that nobody understands.

I had a huge fight last night with mom and my elder sister that I couldnt help crying.
Why I am the one always blamed.
Nooo I cant bear anymore.
I am so sick of this life and fuck this shit that I wont go job interview tomorrow..
Because I am really pissed off.
Nobody asks what I really want from the life
but they are always trying to impose what they want me to be.
Come on I am not a sculpture to be shaped as much as they want.. I have my own ideas and my own feelings and I will be glad if they just set me free.

And 
This is my life..
If i wanna ruin then I will ruin it.
I am tired of being controlled and pressured.
Everybody is stupid around me to follow every second of my actions.
Prejudiced, judgemental, they think it is the easiest way to be me without knowing the thoughts in my mind..
Fuck my life is not easy, nobody's life is easy
but why the hell you feel jealous of my life?
Nothing to feel envious too much
So why do people just say:
 "I wish I could be in your shoes"

Really?
You would kill yourself in a second if you were in my shoes, asshole. Because I know that you wouldnt be able to stand one more second to keep my life..
So shut up
Shut up forever and mind your own business
because you have no idea about what I am fighting with in my mind..
Yeah I am being rude right now
So what?
You can never know unless you are me.
So stop judging me as long as you know nothing about me.

Get your own life instead of involving in mine alright?

I know it is madness