Call Me When You Are Sober

I have been willing to type for few days but I was again haunted by laziness and there are still many things on my mind to worry me.

Ohh why?? Tell me why??

 It is so fucking that nobody understands.

I had a huge fight last night with mom and my elder sister that I couldnt help crying.

Why I am the one always blamed.

Nooo I cant bear anymore.

I am so sick of this life and fuck this shit that I wont go job interview tomorrow..

Because I am really pissed off.

Nobody asks what I really want from the life

but they are always trying to impose what they want me to be.

Come on I am not a sculpture to be shaped as much as they want.. I have my own ideas and my own feelings and I will be glad if they just set me free.

And 

This is my life..

If i wanna ruin then I will ruin it.

I am tired of being controlled and pressured.

Everybody is stupid around me to follow every second of my actions.

Prejudiced, judgemental, they think it is the easiest way to be me without knowing the thoughts in my mind..

Fuck my life is not easy, nobody's life is easy

but why the hell you feel jealous of my life?

Nothing to feel envious too much

So why do people just say:

 "I wish I could be in your shoes"

Really?

You would kill yourself in a second if you were in my shoes, asshole. Because I know that you wouldnt be able to stand one more second to keep my life..

So shut up

Shut up forever and mind your own business

because you have no idea about what I am fighting with in my mind..

Yeah I am being rude right now

So what?

You can never know unless you are me.

So stop judging me as long as you know nothing about me.

Get your own life instead of involving in mine alright?

I know it is madness