Vicious Cycle. The History Renews Itself

It has been such a long time that I havent published any kind of blog.. Yeah I was pretty online on Kat to post my blogs few months back but here on blogger it has been around 5 months ha? 

Few of my friends were asking about my blogs, whether I keep any secret blog somewhere or on my computer.. Even few of them Said they missed my blogs.. Should I really believe? Did they say that so as to console me or they really meant it..? I have some doubts about that but still I miss writing.. And I was really harsh by saying that I am not gonna write again.. So here I am again..

My life has really changed.. I can say that I am not the same girl I was used to be.. Pink dreams? Ahh nope, not anymore.. It is not getting worse but seriously man, it is getting harder.. I am totally confused and worried about the future.. No matter what I tell that I am gonna live this moment, blehhh, it is not happening at all.. Something always pokes my millions of thoughts and future reminds itself by kicking others.. 

Yeah, what is gonna happen next? Here I am, and dropped my shield again.. Lol.. I act like someone brave.. Who knows? Maybe I really am or not.. But just, I dont wanna be hit again.. Cupid.. Fuck your arrows.. You arrow me at a wrong time before a sucky person so it is all me who is fucked up all the time.. Didnt you really have enough of fun by suffering me? 

However, this time I dont suffer at all.. Because I lost my whole senses.. And I really got that love doesnt kill any person as long as that person is not stupid enough to kill himself. So stay, and fight for it.. Somehow we heal over..

Anyway.. Lets keep reading tonight.. Good night ^^