Monday, March 4

These Wounds Wont Seem To Heal

Ohh, sweet people ...
Are you aware of how much you have taken from me? 
Are you aware of how much I care?
Omg, past, past, past just leave me alone for a little while..
You will never, right? But you will stay  somewhere on the corner of my mind.
Yeah you will chase me till my last breath
with your all cruelity and merciless shadow.
But why?? Why? Because I am so weak?
I cant get rid of thinking and no solution.
I am afraid of being left all alone but at the same time I wanna be alone. So how to handle with that???
Nobody understands me.. Even not for once
and that feeling of being useless.. I have significance at all.
Is it me who isolates myself or the people who constantly push me away?  
I dont expect the world to understand me but I need only one person who wont judge me. But NO, nooo as the life sucks. People as well.
I hate being moody too.. It makes me feel like I am even faking.. I cant bear that damn shit.
Few hours ago I was glad and now gloomy and few minutes later I will be smiling.. Fff..
I hate myself more than anyone else on this planet so how am I expected to love people if I cannot love myself first???

Yeah I am not.. Because I couldnt reach to the point people wanted me so, everything has been measured with material these days.
If you have money then you are respected whoever or whatever you are.. Ridiculous.. It is nothing but ridiculous. What happened to virtues and values. Love? Honesty? Care? Hope? Tolerance? Aid? What happened? Almost no one left to keep those.. Even me, I cannot tolerate people, I cannot tolerate myself either.. Because whenever I try to do something I sink into my thoughts so deep that I am stuck there like a wheel stucks in the mud. Helpless, no one can find solution as long as I cannot find by myself.. Walls are coming over me and they give me no peace..
No peace at all...
I hate here
I hate there
I hate everywhere

Anyway thank you for the rant..
Night Night

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