Friends Like This, That Is The Way It's

Afternoon!!!
I just needed to write those down so as to remember and smile few years later... I dont have many guy friends but I have enough of them with whom I can laugh or share.. John, Nazım, Gökhan ... Top 3 :)

I would like to talk about John..
He was my chinese friend's boyfriend and he is from USA.. I have known him since I was 15 so we have been friends for 7years. It is really funny that we still discuss "when you were 15 you were like blablabla" topic :D Yeah we changed great deal and so did the things, I was best friend of his girlfriend and she introduced us [ there are many things that I cant tell... ] he broke up with his girlfriend... :( such a sad story.. Anyway

Well in the morning he just made me laugh... He loves teasing me all the time but this time I was the one who is teasing him :D

People should have such friends who dont  get offended easily..

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Oldiessss

Last night I just took out old pictures..
Some pictures that really made me smile... I was that fat?? In many pictures I look so funny and noisy that I felt proud of myself for being that noisy kid :D but of course I will not share the ones that you shouldnt see such as with panty etc... I would really want to have such a cute picture with diaper but unfortunately I quickly learnt not to poo pee when I was 20 months so my mom never needed to tie diaper unlike my sisters as they used to pee till their 7s :D:D:D  Anywayyyyyy...

1# my mom and dad in 1972, newly weds.. mom was 17 and dad was 24
2# my sisters, elder was 6 and eldest was 10
3# my elder sister (16) and me (3)
4# me (3)
5# me (3)
6# me (3) and my eldest sister (20)
7# the same day again..she used to like me a lot ahahah I really dont know why I was trolling :D
8# me (4) I used to have longer hair
9# my niece (few months) and me (4) .. I used to hate mom whenever she takes me to the hairdresser as she would really tell them cut too short that would make me cry at the end...
It is obvious that my sisters were the same (e.g pict 2)
By the way I am in almost all pictures after I was born... It is really good to have such a great age difference because I was raised as if I am the only little girl in my family... ^^ Sistersssss please dont feel jealous of me :P or get jealous :DDD
Beyza: you made my day little B.
Little B: well, thank you as it is my job but now I need to go as I have a mission to keep being noisy around till make people angry.
Beyza: OK. Maybe see you someday again.
Little B: Call me whenever you wish as I am there, in the deepest core of your soul..Just remember me.
Beyza: I will ...

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I'll never forget you but I'll be gone

Hamlet: 3. Perde 1. Sahne

" En zengin hediyeleri değersiz bulur soylu yürekler, onları veren sevmez olunca artık... " 
              
Hamlet: Act III - Scene I
OPHELIA: My lord, I have remembrances of yours,
That I have longed long to re-deliver;
I pray you, now receive them.
HAMLET: No, not I;
I never gave you aught.
OPHELIA: My honour'd lord, you know right well you did;
And, with them, words of so sweet breath composed
As made the things more rich: their perfume lost,
Take these again; for to the noble mind
Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind.
There, my lord.
------------------------
I just recalled my Shakespeare class...

There are always some people whom we love more than others because they either become our gf/bf or husband/wife.. Sometimes things go so wrong and as circumstances dont allow you to be together, either you or the significant other decides that it is better to break up. The one who is said "goodbye" suffers more generally because s/he never expects that.. Yea I can get this but I need an answer to this question below:

What to do with the stuff?
A. Burn them all
B. Throw out of window
C. Keep them
C1. to hope that you'll be reunited again
C2. for collection to show your grandsons
C3. to set a museum for exhibition
D. Donate/sell them
D1. donate poor people
D2. sell&exhange them in jewellery store
E. Send them back to person who gave you
F. Bury them and forget the place
G. Assure your parents to put them away from your sight
H. Give it to your one of your close friend to post them to her/him when something bad happens to you

Too multiple¿? Maybe you could tell me your opinion as I really dont have an idea.

O' memories, memories, memories...
Neither they fade away
Nor give up chasing your way.

Night!!!

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Princess Sheherazade (Şehrazat)

When I was a kid around my 10s, cartoons were enough qualified that we would remember all the time no matter how old we are... such as Tom&Jerry, Mickey, Candy Candy, Heidi ( la la luuuya haha ), Ninja Turtles, Duffy, Road runner and coyote (beep beep) etc etc.

I think at that time Disney was the most leading factor in every child's small world.. It is because Disney would introduce new addictive kind of cartoons to us per month.

I wonder who remembers Princess Sheherazade? To give imformation I should mention that whole the story is based on a smart persian princess and a clumsy genie who is inlove with her as I remember... Anyway

This introduction was to provide background information and create such a persian atmosphere as I would like to talk about the dream I had early in the morning because the dream is related...

《《《 I was in vineyard with my mom. My sister's mother and father in law just came to ask whether we can accompany them as they needed to travel somewhere so we agreed. We four got on Hammer and travelled somewhere Sahra Desert.. Soil was sparkling piece by piece and some caravansary were built up.. Drums and bazaars were really reflecting arabic and persian culture.. My sister's mother just showed me a girl from the window and passed me a black bag to give her... I got off the car and followed her from distance with the bag in my hand.. The public square was very crowded that I was worried to miss the girl.. But she was wearing something yellow on her which was shining like a sun, her persian type dress was dazzling my eyes therefore it was impossible to miss her among the crowd..  ( i wonder why persian women used to wear some clothes that leaves their belly or stomach bare ) then she entered in a temple so I had to hurry up and I began to run behind her as she was going downstairs...But she also noticed that she was being chased and began to speed up by looking behind.. Her wavy long dark hair began to swing because of the wind.. She was about to enter another room I just held her arm from her back and I said "could you please give me some minutes as we need to talk" but she said "no, as I dont know who you are"... So I tried to convince her by showing the bag in my hand as it is for her then she said "OK, let's have an ancient persian coffee".. She took me to another dim room.. I just sat on a couch and she asked "how are you Beyza?" ... I was like that o_O "how do you know my name?" ... She was very mysterious.. I just stared at her from top to bottom.. She was very beautiful as I thought I never saw such a beautiful girl in my life so she gave me once-over as well and she said she knows not only my name but also everything about me.. "Girl, I am a fortuneteller! and I can read your mind,didnt you still realise that?" So I just kept quiet and gave her the bag.. At that time a male servant with a ridiculous feather on his head just brought us coffee and then left the room by locking the door behind... She opened the bag and took out the yellow dress similar with her dress she was currently wearing.. She just asked me to turn my back and drink my coffee.. So I just turned my back and sipped my coffee by watching the architectural ornaments on the ceiling..The coffee was very dark and hard as it trembled my body :D then she said "By the way, I saw that your future will be great Beyza, I really envy you".. I was just surprised and speechless.. After a while she just said "okay, you can look now" ... When I turned my face she was also watching herself in the mirror by turning around :D .. I was like that "But, but ... this is the same dress that you were wearing" ... She smiled and said "no, this one is far different than the other". But I was really sure that both are the same dresses... She was like a fairy, extremely charming and beautiful... Then I began to feel dizzy and fell asleep on couch. I heard some crowd knocking on the room door of the temple, I opened my eyes and noticed two coffee cups.. Persian girl's was still standing untouched with the coffee inside. I thought that probably she added sleeping pills into mine and disappeared while I was sleeping. :D I just heard mom was also screaming out my name and I directly stared outside the door while lying down because I was still dizzy... She came and hugged me saying that they were worried about me as I didnt return such a long time and thanked God that I am still alive... She also asked how could I survive without any burn as all the temple burned down and I was just sleeping in flames when they extinguished the fire. I just said "I dont know.." Then I was woken up by the ring of my alarm clock. 》》》

Such an interesting and impressive dream.. But I really enjoyed as it was very exotic especially desert and temple part made me feel like I was somewhere in Egypt or the southest part of Iran among persian people who bargain while exchanging what they have in 5th century.

To Be Continued ...

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The Art Of Boredom

LoL pict #1 sounds like a piece of shit :D but it was highly hard to paint as you really cant guess where will be colored automatically.. Of course B and K have special meanings such as Beloved Kevin... hahaha dont look at me like this >>>> o_O I am just kidding..Those letters refer to my name and surname.. But I wish I didnt draw the hearts as they look so lame :D:D:D
Sometimes it is really fun to deal with childish stuff...
pict #2 as you can guess what inspired me to draw this..I liked blue marker hehehe as it also represents samsung itself...Appearantly I am obsessed with drawing hearts hahaha...they are really lame :D well never think that the blog owner is 13 years old...It is a way of trying something new. Now I am gonna bed, next time I promise that I will do something better than those... But I really wish that I didnt quit drawing when I was 15 as I could be better..
Night Night guys ^^

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Monday Syndrome

Heyy
Actually it is very hard do wake up early in the morning on mondays. It is because we get accustomed to laziness at the weekend by relaxing or spending time by sleeping but my situation is very different and I decleared monday as holiday because I have no time at the weekend even sunday..I just wake up early and then go course and spend 9 hours over there.. Anyway

But it is really great to begin such a day with "Goodmorning" text from someone you love ... or ... with listening to one of your favourite song even though you know that it will be a hard day..As I have no one in my life I have to be content with music.. When it comes to my all friends, they never text me unless I text them Hi...
It doesnt mean I am always lonely
Cuz I have my soul as an accompany.

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Notes On The Shelf

No matter how much I am the girl of gloomy colors such as black and grey I like colorful stuff when it comes to decorate something if it is suitable.. I really love taking some notes whenever I am reading book or surfing online, especially the lines I find humorous or very impressive... Here you could see some samples.. By the way it is almost 2:30am and I am very sleepy, maybe I can continue later ha? As all the inspiration faded away as well only after when I put my head on the pillow.. So night night !!! sweet dreams

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I Only Miss You When I'm Bleeding

This picture just made me smirk by feeling empathy few days ago.. There was a note below the picture like "only girls would understand it" ... and I will just share some comments...
Girl 1: it is pms cramps
Girl 2: she is suffering because of her period
Girl 3: on her bloody day
blablabalabla
but one girl made a comment in an unusual way such as;
Girl 38282: sex position

LOL it made me laugh because she is either an idiot or transexual :D:D:D or did it on.purpose to take attention, it was funny funny though...
But appearantly number #3 and #7 dont look like sex position hahaha.. Sometimes I really dont understand people...Anyway it was a random topic to write about before I go sleeping.. Night night ♥♥

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My New Step Father

[Önemli bir not: Lütfen babanızın kıymetini bilin...]

Most of the time people are asking about my parents whether I resemble my mom or dad..Besides my foreign friends sometimes get curious when I tell I am muslim because muslim oriented women are supposed to wear hejab/scarf/eşarp to cover their hair as it is taken as sin..But it depends on person to person because Turkey isnt a strict religious country unlike Iran and we are not ruled by the religion although there are many bigots over here. Teens are corrupted, i just mean that teens bacame more and more far away from the religion itself because of the influence of western and european culture.. I can say that new generation has link between modernism and islam religion..

So here is the answer: I resemble my mom I think,because many people say so.. And I really hope that you guys like my new step father as he is too famous all over the world LOL.. I believe that he will get on well with me :D

Honestly I cant put my dad's picture as I dont have any in my mobile and he passed away 3 years ago.. I just wanna mention him as i really felt like.. Since my 11s my relationship with my dad began to be based on hatred... Dont ask why because there were many reasons which I cant tell as it is a long life story... He used to love me a lot because i was the youngest member of the family although i am 22 now and he always wanted me to have good education, succeed in anything I want.. Briefly he used to encourage me to do things whenever I feel weak enough to give up.. Although we didnt have good relations I never behaved him disrespectful.. He was the strongest authority at home and whenever I did something wrong to freak mom out all I did was to hide behind him LOL...

On the day he died I was home alone, things happened so suddenly that I was thinking it could be a joke.. Nobody let me know till midnight.. Just my eldest sister came home first to tell me the evil news and i felt so numb for a while, motionless as if something was broken in me and I burst into tears... It was the first time I lost someone close in my family..

When they heard, other family members began to came also neighbours and of course my friends too.. Tuğba,  Ayşegül,Merve, Aysun, Gözde etc ( sorry guys if i forgot your names to add as I really dont remember much because of the shock) I am really grateful that you guys were with me on our sorrowful day..

Recently some teens really hate their parents enough to wish them not to exist.. My mom used to tell me that "even if you dont like your father, his shade is enough for you"... Till he passed away I didnt get this shade term by thinking what she meant... I am such a fool right?

Shade: she meant his presence, blessing and protection... I think dad concept is an umbrella element for kids to protect them from most of the things...

Never ever think that I am doing good without him... The first time when I understood that "shade" thing was like that;
I was applying for something
X: I need your information to fill this form
Me: okay
X: Name, surname?
Me: Beyza Kargın
X: Your father's name?
Me: Ahmet
X: What is your father's job?
Me: (dang) ... well he is not alive..
X: I am sorry for your loss, may god rest him in peace

Actually I learnt how to define a person who died, such as telling he is dead, he is not alive, he passed away and so on.. And it is really hard to admit because you think that you lack of something..But you keep living with that...

With friends: they sometimes like talking about their fathers and I just dont want to mention but there is always someone
to open up the topic.
X: how did your dad pass away?
Me: well ...
Y: wait! Is her dad is not alive? I didnt know sorry
Me: it is okay, no problem...

Some nights whenever I cry because of some reasons or whenever I lose my faith and courage I feel that he is with me somehow and consoles me that I should be strong to go on my way... That is what he always wanted from me.

I am inherited some features from him:
1. My height, he was such a tall man
2. My blood disgust, lol he used to faint when he saw blood and he would go pale whenever something bad happens..
3. He taught me how to play backgammon, we used to play everyday so that I improve myself that is why I can cheat with dices by throwing the number what I need :D so I play better than most of the female backgammon players :))))

       R.I.P Ahmet Kargın

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Like I Promised

Actually i have many favourite bands but one of them is flyleaf. My dear Canadian friend Brittany likes them as well.. Last time we were talking about flyleaf and she asked me if i listened to "so i thought".. I couldnt remember for a while as i havent been listening to them for a long time. As my pc was broken down I was thinking how could i find that song and listen to but I checked my mobile whether i have it and hell yeah i have ^^ after listening to it I remembered :3 also remembered my teenhood lol..

Music is connecting people no matter how much you could deny...

In Flames < My Estonian friend Katja just introduced such a nice band... My favourite song by them is Metaphor... I am very glad that I see her online after 5 months silence.. And her obsession with John Petrucci :D I really hope someday she plays like him. 

Another story.. In 2008 i just met a girl named Jenni from Sweden (so called Sweden cuz I was terribly fooled by her hehe) she used to like *system of a down* and we exchanged almost what we have in our archives. To my surprise i got that she was a Turkish girl after 4 years..Anyway that is a long story which doesnt concern us anymore...

System of a down ♥ i think i will never forget this band as it has many stories.. Last May 4, 2012 when i was a new member on INTERPALS almost for a month, I was searching Finnish speakers as I had special interests to Northern countries and Scandinavia then I clicked on a profile randomly. I was just checking the profile and System of a down took my attention again.. And I decided to mail her.. Now Kaisa is my best friend and probably reading my blog...

So music... Music is the greatest thing we could ever have... 

Thank you guys for being with me whenever I need... :*

♥♥ (Bx2).(Kx2) ♥♥
《 Let the music play 》    |>

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Weak Week

Gosh, I cant find any reason to keep this. this= thinking about what is going to happen. I am just bored and tired at all.. I need to hold something so tight in order to survive. something= patience maybe but i really dont have patience anymore.. I cant stand as i am on my weak week mood. so i should activate number 2 plan. number 2= just leaving online world for a year.. i really have some reasons for that. reasons= making up my mind, having rest and making some changes in my life...

lets see then...

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What would happen if ...

These days i am trying hard to make up my mind and go on my way.. but it is getting harder because there are many people around me whom I care too much.. I just ruin my life by myself so i need to help this girl to come over things in order to let her survive.. it feels too cold and sharp but sometimes a person should utter NO whenever s/he wants to refuse something so as not to be hurt. It doesnt mean that person has no feelings but it means s/he is determined and knows what they want and dont want, right? Too much affirmation also brings bad news as it might make the other people think that person is naive enough to be put in a mold to shape...

Besides it is also suffering to insist someone who says no, so let it go.. the ones would already be with you if they wanted. As we really dont need the people who dont want us because they will never be beneficial for us and instead they will bring so much pain through the life... therefore willingness is the mainstone of the theme. Sorry as i dont care punctuation anymore although i am supposed to begin with Capital letters after full stop. be thankful at least i use comma lol anyway...

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Taurus - May 7

(by the way this is my necklace)

Stone: Emerald
Planet: Venus
Element: Soil ( steady, feminine, receiver, protective )
The most obvious feature: Strength
The most wanted ambition: Fame
The most deadly mistake: Obsinate

Venus is the closest planet to earth and it represents love and justice. Harmony, value, charm, attractiveness, appreciation, interaction, friendship, beauty, music, fine arts are under the control of Venus.
Venus is the symbol of feminine in science and arts. Venus gives pleasure to people through sexual life and Venus is the source of inspiration of beauty and fine arts.
Venus people are generous and liked by the opposite genders and they are lovely and affectionate.

Soil element: practical, trustworthy, cautious, emitional, bodily strong.

Steady: determined, when they decide to do something they never give up. They posses whatever they want by taking advance of all the given opportunity.

Feminine: they are patient and enduring. They are creative and practical as well.

Protective: they are interactive and loyal to people whom they love. They like to help therefore they would become a good friend. Taurus people would never leave their friends alone whenever they are having hard times. But they would expect trust and security in everything. They are always warm people.
Taurus people dont get angry so easily but they are like volcanos whenever they get angry. Besides they are obsinate creatures. You could be their friend and you can advice but never ever try to command them as you can get anything from them.

Relations with some star signs:
Taurus and ....
Virgo: great match
Gemini, Cancer, Pisces: good
Leo: very dictator
Libra, Sagittarius: so so
Scorpio: very cunning

OMG !!! The best part <3
Taurus celebrities:
@Salvadore Dali
@Cher
@Karl Marks
@Sigmund Freud ( lol )
@Asil Nadir
@Nükhet Duru ( turkish singer )
@Süleyman the magnificent ( sultan of the ottoman empire when the empire reached its largest borders )
@Ayhan Işık
@Erol Büyükburç ( singer and actor)
@Öztürk Serengil ( comedian and actor)
@Queen Elizabeth II ( wow )
@Lenin
@Barbra Streisand
@Evita Feron
@Honore de Balzac
@Johannes Brahms
@Gary Cooper
@Henry Fonda
@Jehudi Menu hin ( who the hell he is? )
@Bertrand Russell
@William SHAKESPEARE ^^ <3
@Stevie Wonder
@Adolf Hitler ( O_O )
@Saddam Hussein ( no wonder, as sometimes I wanna be killer but killing bad people )

Social Enough?

Goodnight.. I think I wouldnt be able to live if I couldnt download those applications from app store and of course they dont fulfil the function of computer but it is okay as my pc is broken down. By the way I decided to buy an ultrabook on tuesday.. And I am still in between Samsung Galaxy S3 and iphone5. Maybe I should wait a bit to see which one to decide.. Anyway I am gonna bed now maybe I would see in my dream :D night night

Why Does It Have To Be So Hard?

Feel me in your heart
It's another way to apart
From the cruel love
Just a sweet move
I know it's so hard
Leaving everything behind

But if you intend to stay
Then keep your tears away
Put your soul in a cage
Never expect for change
As there's no other option
To flee away for salvation

Or free your heart from pain
Don't return to him again
Forget the sweet memories
Burn all the written stories
It will be hellish tough
But you will be strong enough.

So I'm Back, Maybe

Ohh my god, it has been ages that i couldnt access my blog. I still dont have a laptop but soon I will have whenever i decide. From here all i can do is to give damn to my HP as it left me half on the way... I miss many things and it is really hard to write on my blog with an iphone though.. But for sure i will come back like a storm and tremble you guys but i need to leave now. Things should settle down first.. Kisses <3

Ran-dO_om

Today I don't know but I just recalled that I have been keeping a diary for a long time... I decided to take it from its place where I put it a year ago.. It was time to blow the dust away and open up the cover somehow to face the reality.. I noticed that the things are not as same as before.. Great deal of change on me, change on him, change on people around me.. I think I reached for the maturity although it was the saddest experience. But I learnt that nothing can hurt me anymore and life is going on. Everything is temporary, so is the pain itself..

I feel like I cannot think about anything anymore, don't know!! Probably I feel so confused again. I cannot describe how I feel but whatever happens I love the way I am.

Shooting Star

         Running tears just dry, I know it because I can't cry anymore. It wouldn't be cruelty.My not shedding tears wouldn't mean everything is alright and I never cry. I just cry inside. I wish you could see how deep ocean I carry inside of me made of my precious tears. Just for the worthless people ever in my life. It wouldn't mean I'm so dumb. I just loved the way of following my heart which requires courage and strength. I knocked at the wrong doors which were open but while I was stepping in they closed and I left my some pieces inside. The wind sometimes flew me over like a leaf here to there but I still didn't hit the ground, and I am here standing still beside you. Your eyes don't see, your heart doesn't feel me but I'm here to be hurt over again and again. So instead of leaving you sorrowful with my hopless heart matter, I'd love to be a shooting star then..While giving beloved you the reason and chance to make a wish of your life, I'd fall over the sky and die !!

P.S. I love pun (playing on words) and I had really strange feelings something like I'm confused, I hate, I love, I mourn, I am sad and I am glad.. Combination of emotional outburst and stream of consciousness technique just created this one.. Therefore, I wrote it for 5 important people in my life.. Rich in metaphors, symbolism, synecdoche, pun, allusion (for myself) and so on...

                                                                                                                   GOOD  NIGHT

Life Without PC

       Sweet blog, I'm feeling terribly sorry that I've neglected you such a long time as my PC is broken down and I didn't bring my ipad over here.. I feel so fool !

       We have been getting on well for about 3 years and I don't really know what is wrong with you. I remember the first day we met. You were shining with your black cover and when I first saw you I couldn't take my eyes off you and just said 'I should have you'. Now you are standing by my side and keeping my almost everthing inside. I am really mourning as I couldn't recognize how much you mean to me early before you're broken down.. Somehow you should come back to me as I feel naked :DDDD

Today's Poem

While I am trying to find you, I am tired of losing myself.
It will be a bit weird but wherever I go, you're just with me.
Should I hold on the sweetest memories and walk away?
Say yes, but I just don't know where to go from here.

Tell me, what am I? Small pieces of a thorn paper?
Last baccy of your cigar or a reckless passer-by?
While being together how could we have come this far?
Now, are we the strangers sitting on a bank side by side?

We were like moon and sun, you would give me light
And shine to blind my eyes, I'd not dare to look at you.
You would run everyday and behind I would chase you.
If I could touch you, I would burn that is what I know.

But it'd worth to touch for once, even the cost is too much.
It's the love's most beautiful side and the sweetest sacrifice,
Whatever happens it is time not to give up right now because
I am the phoenix, I'll reborn from my ashes to be with you.
                                                                         *Your Phoenix*

           One of my friend asked me to share my poems on my blog too. Thank you for the nice idea!!

Never Faking

    Today was like yayyyy, the first time I spent almost 2 hours in bathroom..Yeah very peaceful.. But I hate that I am curly again and have to straighten my hair which takes time..These days I leave it curly and nobody used to see me curly because I dont like it.. I think there are only 2 people in the world who are yelling about their hair..One of them is Justin Timberlake and the other is of course me !! :D Many years ago I just read that he cannot shape his hair :D and yeah it is hard for me too mostly... I try to find few ways which would make me seem older than this one as three of my friends said that I look 16 years old in the picture ( I shared below) so should I smile or cry for that.. I took that picture approximately 13 days ago and I will keep my age as a secret (no matter it is not a secret though)  :DDDD

      In the afternoon my neighbour visited me which was surprising, as we haven't seen each other such a long time..She was my childhood friend though..We played guitar and talked about guys.. Guys are always the topic to talk about, especially how careless/mean/offensive they could be most of the time.. 

       By the way tomorrow is a big day.. KPSS exam. Millions of university graduates take the exam so as to be appointed as a teacher...I don't really want to talk about Turkey's education/exam system as it is a bit of shit.. So, what am I thinking about? Nothing at all.. I will just go and sleep and then wake up early in the morning to slap this exam!!! We will see...

                                                                                                                                               xXoOoXx

Deliver Us From Sorrow's Hold

WHEN IT COMES TO RELATIONSHIPS ...

    It always goes bitchy like that.. First begins like the sweetest dream to live with and then it turns out to be the most  sorrowful burden to make your soul to weep. One of my Canadian friend just said this someday: ''The ones we love hurt us the most''. I was just confused by thinking how could this ever happen? How can a person leave us so much in pain if we love enough to blink at little bit of mistakes ?? But you never recognize till you hit a wall and wake up from the pretty dreams.. Little mistakes? They are now huge as a mountain that you cannot move with them anymore. In the end you even don't understand how you have come this far.. Just feeling in dilemma '' is it either way to go or stay and struggle? ''. Picking up the choice of 'staying' with a little bit hope of something may change for the sake of love, because when we love we are blinded enough to have great expectations and we never want to fall down.. Extreme love gives it place to habitude. As if you have to take this nicotine to numb your soul, as if you cannot do without and the burst of some kind of feelings..
*feeling so lost*miss of the past*crying much*long for that person*waiting for so long*feeling so hopeless* and so on.. Yeah I felt them all somehow. I believe many of us experienced the same.. But life is going on.. We have to learn not to stay somewhere where we are not glad/pleased. Just for once '' be strong '' 


'' Tanrım, bana değiştiremeyeceğim şeyleri kabul etme gücü, değiştirebileceğim şeyler değiştirme cesareti ve bu ikisi arasındaki farkı anlayabilme sağduyusu ver...''

Goes Down The Sun, Rises Again !!

      

 '' Spent one more day from the rest of my life.. I am glad that I fill every inch of my mind and every second of my time with you piece by piece. I am even slowing down the breath I take in so that I catch up with the time that is flowing when you are with me. Just let it be as it is out of control and my heart is kneeling before you to serve the best of everything. We can never know what life brings and of course I know how cruel life is while taking the ones we love but it always gives another ones to start up from the beginning... Life is trying us to see how patient and strong we could be.. The ones who give up easily are never awarded..''
                                                                                       

                                                                                               A Little Bit Of Inspiration

I Said Goodbye This Time, I Want No More

SO SING WITH ME   

I was so high and I was fool not to recognize 

The lies hiding in his eyes

His features that controlled my mind

I kissed last time, wont come again as I got on the bus 

I never wished to return again

But I saw him crying behind

This love has taught me many things so far

He said goodbye too many times before 

And his heart was full of garbage of his own

I made my mind, there was no chance for him, anymore

I tried my best to please his appetite

Sacrificed my each night 

To make him pleased by my side 

He kept playing my love as if a ball

I said, I should do the same

But in the end I was the fool again

Now I never wanna fix the things he broke

I' ll go on my way

Convince him that I am never the same

My presence is on his mind, I know

But no chance, no more

As I don't want him anymore

Cause I said goodbye last time my own,for sure

Tips Of the Day

( 1 ) Don't cry to me, if you love me you will be with me

( 2 ) Get out of my sight if you are telling me pack of lies

( 3 ) My each smile doesn't mean that I like the way you act all the time

( 4 ) Don't wase my time with the stuff I don't care about

( 5 ) Utter me sweet and kind words so as to get the same in return and it is the best way to convince me to do something you may wish

( 6 ) If I am gone ... I never come (so don't hurt me)

( 7 ) Don't be enemy with me for your own sake as I have cruel and wild wolf inside

( 8 ) I never let you go unless you want me so

( 9 ) The heaven is where you are

( 10 ) Hug me in silence when I lose my temper, I swear I smile, whenever you do it I will always smile

Remember When It Rained !!

             Rain, rain and rain...

       I am the girl of gloomy weather. Who knows, maybe because I was born on a rainy day of beautiful spring ?? So let the rain over me !!!

                       Rain is one of my inspiration
                   Rain washes away every dirty things
                         Rain is good to walk under

                           Rain drops are so cute 

                   We owe the fresh soil scent to rain

                             Rain is falling in love
                              Rain is art of God
                    Rain is the purest tears of nature  

Rain is the most beautiful weather event that we could ever have !!!

                

      There is a story about rain which I heard when I was a child.. I had to be told because I used to get scared of rain storms.. I am really bad at telling a story but  let me try :)))

''Once upon a time there are 3 clouds in the shape of prince, villain and a princess.. Prince and princess are inlove with each other such a long and of course villain cloud is inlove with the princess but he knows that princess loves the prince.. While prince and princess are together over the sky, villain challenges the prince, so the sound of thunder we hear is the hit of their armor and shield..

And the lightening we see is the halo of the gorgeous prince..Villain thinks that he cannot beat the prince down on his own so he plays trick on prince by asking for help from the other bad hearted clouds. After all dark clouds surround the prince and the villain cloud stabs the prince by his heart..The prince dies in the arms of princess cloud. The falling rain drops from the sky are the tears of the princess who is shedding them by the side of her lover's lifeless body..''

                

                 

That is exactly the way I love to do !!! <3 

The moment when all the words are spent... THE END

                        (My blog is the only place to reach the closure of the story with a happy ending)

So guys!! Wish you have a rainy day with full of love ;)

Why Do I Love Playing Taboo??

            I don't actually know why, but I love playing 'taboo' as a board game.. There is always something to burst into laughter.. It is funnier if your partner is someone whom you know very well such as your close friend... Time is always running out but there are monents that you expect the rival team to fail but in a sudden moment like this they succeed..Here are some samples...

      

 

The word: Erdem (Virtue)

Almost all the related words are taboo and it is really hard to explain abstract things, and time is about to run out

A: the name of xxx's bf ??

B: Erdeemmmm (virtue) 

The word: Contact Lens

Ahahaha I think it was the best memory I could ever have.. One of my friend who was also playing with us was just wearing contact lenses at that time..

A: What does xxx take off every night before sleeping??

B: What, I don't know?

XXX: (thinks that it might be her bra) I don't take it off

B: Her clothes??
XXX: I swear I don't take it off at nights before sleeping..
A: Geezzz I hand in !!! (to xxx) Don't you take off your lenses before you go sleeping ha??

The word: Parachute

This time one of my friend has to draw it as we were playing big taboo..

Basic: Mountain??

He: Nope

Basic: Does it have strings too??

He: Yes, but hurry up time is running out !!!!

Basic: (aside: is it a bra or g-string sth??)

          And here is my dude... XD The most ridiculous thing :D as during play we throw it at each other.. ''poor plush''

The word: Push-up
It was time of plush...My friend was making it push-up in the air..
A: Dancing??
B: Praying??
this time my friend lay it down on the table and keep it pushing up 
A: Knocking the table??
B: Omfg, What the hell this pervert plush doing??? :DDDDDD

The word: Haircut
It was my turn with the plush..I sat the plush legs crossed before me and acting like I cut its hair :D
A: Hairstyling??
B: Shaving??
Basic: almost close B
C: Where is the shampoo?? Are you bathing little purple thing??
Basic: hurry up guys, no time for kidding??
A: Look at those legs, swagger !!!

My partners couldn't guess the simple thing..I wanted to die as If I knew that they are going to focus on legs instead of the head, I would never sit it legs crossed :DDDDDD



If English Language and Literature 

department students played 
              ''Taboo''          ------------>
Of course there are many options !!!


1. Geofrey Chauser: Mainstone of the English Literature
    Victoria Woolf: Shakespeare

2. Jane Austen: The writer of the longest sonnets
    Thomas Wyatt: of course Shakespeare

3. Thomas Hardy: Venus and Adonis, Othello
    Sylvia Plath: Shakespeare

etc etc.. And how ridiculous that they forgot to add ''Romeo and Juliet'' but anyway !!!